Failed Presidential Candidates From America’s Checkered History


America’s getting all twitter-pated about it’s upcoming presidential election. What excitement! The fate of the free world hangs in the balance. Perhaps it’s time to reflect on the free worlds that could have been. Yes, it’s time once again for Failed Presidential Candidates From America’s Checkered History! This week’s FPCFACH is Benjamin Gratz Brown!

Facts about B. Gratz Brown:

— Attended TRANSYLVANIA COLLEGE!

— He fought a DUEL at a place called BLOODY ISLAND.

— He LOST the duel.

— But LIVED!

— Political Party? Why, he was a UNCONDITIONAL UNIONIST!

These facts add up to an incontrovertible truth: in 1872 a vampire was only 157 electoral college votes away from president!

Next week on FPCFACH: the virgin millionaire!

Advertisements

One Response to “Failed Presidential Candidates From America’s Checkered History”

  1. Thor Thorson Says:

    I love this post muchly. When do we get to hear about the female Ronald MacDonald prez candidate from 1971 who opened her jump suit exposing pendulous breasts to unsuspecting children at a birth day party?

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: