BREAKING! The Science of Fat! The Wall Street Journal reports Obama has a problem.


The WSJ, in a work of thorough SCienz NOw! reporting says Obama will lose the key fat people constituency.

In a nation in which 66% of the voting-age population is overweight and 32% is obese, could Sen. Obama’s skinniness be a liability? Despite his visits to waffle houses, ice-cream parlors and greasy-spoon diners around the country, his slim physique just might have some Americans wondering whether he is truly like them.

The crack Science Now! team hit the streets to talk to voters to see if there’s truth in this exciting new Science:
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Mr. Pigsauce Jingles (35, Chicago, IL) says “Breakfast sandwich!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! By the way, I just ate Bozo.  Oops, excuse me I’m about to pass some clown shoes…ooooohhhh…”

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Tubby McFatCar (47, Charleston, SC) says “Gurgle.”

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Princess Chunks (23, Wichita, KS) is quoted as saying “I just ate my litter.”


Gibbering Mouther (500, Astral Plane) says “I will consume you. I will slowly melt your brain and digest it like suet. DINNERZ. I WILL EAT THE OBAMA FAMILY.”

Clearly Obama has a problem.

You decide:

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