Presidential BBQ tips

If you marinate at least 24 hours before grilling, then the meat will be completely saturated with flavor and spices. When cooking in the Northern Territory currently known as Alaska (Soon to be known as the Independent Republic of Alaska), it helps to shoot your meal from a Helicopter and not to eat it at all, but this initial hunting clears the way to kill something bigger which you can then eat.

Granted, when your poll numbers are suddenly falling again after a slight post convention lead (to which the entire country overreacted), and your friends are actively calling out your lies, damn lies, and statistics; you might not want to hunt this way. Just go to the grocery store and buy a rack of pre-marinated ribs. Just avoid the cheese aisle at all costs. However, pork may not be the best choice for a BBQ guest with a history of gluttony.

Want a former President’s advice? Just accuse your opponent of endorsing Monarchy and Empire. It’s an easier claim to make, there’s no way to disprove it unless the guy wins, and the country hates monarchs.


8 Responses to “Presidential BBQ tips”

  1. Thomas Jefferson Says:

    I’m just sayin’ image is everything. I know, my face is carved on a fucking MOUNTAIN. Is yours John McCain?! IS IT!?!

  2. I have some good tips and recipes you could use and even use some of the techniques when cooking what you hunt.They are at

  3. machosteakjet Says:

    hey the legendary Outdoorgriller visited this site! The Outdoorgriller is 5,345 years old. He invented the first grill. It was made of basalt and was 200 feet wide. This first BBQ was pulled palaeotragus, ceolacanth tacos and shrunken head chili – in the skulls!

  4. Thomas Jefferson Says:

    The 3rd President is honored that the legendary Outdoorgriller has visited machosteakjet. President Jefferson proposes destroying the Crazy Horse Monument in the Black Hills and Carving a likeness of the Griller into the face of the mountain.

    President Jefferson also proposes a law that mandates all public figures to speak in the 3rd person in honor of the 3rd president.

  5. Billy Carter Says:

    Thank you for this comprehensive post President Jefferson

  6. Thank you President Jefferson. Orange-rumped Agouti loves that Outdoorgriller is into what we’re doing at MACHOSTEAKJET™. It is an privilege to be visited by the inventor — and perfecter — of fire.

  7. outdoorgriller Says:

    so im a president now you guys sound like freakin idiots

  8. machosteakjet Says:

    Aw, come on Outdoorgriller. We think you’re awesome! Just because we have the crappiest site on the internet shouldn’t make you feel any less proud of your accomplishments!

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