MSJ Philantrophy Testamonial Doc #670946569.002 SubDoc 104B. SubTitle: “Albino Miracle”

Our life was simple, at first. Sewer living may be difficult for some to understand. Sure our diet is limited and our eventual loss of sight has made things somewhat complicated but nothing can compare to the feeling of warm water on the belly. We have evolved to be perfectly suited to our home. Our hair has expanded and became more sponge-like, more absorbent – an invaluable adaptation. Our children have learned the musiks of the underworld to keep the ever-present flesh drinking spirits at bay. Our porcelain skin has become translucent and acquired a soothing phosphorescence. We have even, through our wit and industriousness, turned human waste into these elegant vêtements.

Yet these things don’t matter to the surface dwellers of Madagascar. The discovery of our quiet hamlet on the border of the great underworld city Excraton changed our life forever. Our people were farmed for their invaluable hair and left shorn and unable to contend with the daily “tunnel tides”. These surface dwellers clean their dishes with the magical source of our power and the means for our very survival! Our children were forced into labor, cleaning their waste and becoming obese at their cruel Sanitation Camps. Our beautiful, gleaming underworld towers torn down to make way for endless miles of manufacturing plants. All this destruction just for our magical cloth fecral. Oh the pain makes me shiver to my core as I look into my children’s beautiful, pupil-less eyes.

But no more. Due to the hard work and good people of Macho Steak Jet, our freedom has been purchased. Sure our people still suffer in enslavement, but our family has found peace in a quiet Vermont septic system. Thank you MSJ for all your hard work for emancipation! You have restored our dignity.


4 Responses to “MSJ Philantrophy Testamonial Doc #670946569.002 SubDoc 104B. SubTitle: “Albino Miracle””

  1. dan schank Says:

    hey there STEAKJETTEAM,

    i’ve been mostly reading these posts from a google reader feed, so i’m just now noticing your new mascot, “dinners” the poodle. please accept a hearty “A OK!” from philadelphia. brotherly love!

  2. Benjamin Franklin Says:

    There are few things more heartbreaking than an entire blind albino race not being able to wear excrement pants. Thank you MSJ!!!

  3. machosteakjet Says:


  4. Sluck Chong Says:

    Schank-san! 白人の人々は悪魔である

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