MACHO STEAK JET PERSONALS!


Hey everyone!!! A friend of mine from home is moving to Chicago. She’s recently out of a relationship and looking to meet new people for friends or maybe something more? Here’s what she says:

Gender: Woman
Current Status: Single
Looking for: Casual dating, Romance, Long-term relationship
Body Type: HWP, 4-hands
Eyes: Brown (3)
Ears: Enormous
Skin: Seamlessly phasing into jute-cloth
Breasts: Semi-Floating and Possibly Magical
Height: 3′ 04″
Hair Type: Frosting?
Age: 11 (marrying age in my culture)
Seeks: Man for Dating, Man for Friendship, Man for Barbarism

I love to learn and tend to try out new activities all the time. Sometimes I think I may have hobby ADD (HA! LOL!), but I can’t imagine getting bored with life when there are so many interesting things to try. I took up rendering captured explorers for cooking fat a few years ago. Tons of fun, although I’m still working on my recipe for chitterlings! 😉

I’m proud of the balance I have between my personal and professional life and am a sucker for a decent novel or a ceremonial witchdance. I would never turn down game night with friends (like Slaughter The Christian! Or Scattergories!). I’ve been told I have an infectious laugh and an infectious vagina. I can scalp a man with a credit card but I’ll still need you to kill big bugs for me.

I’m interested in the world around me for it is filled with dark portents and omens. Like eclipses and comets. I would prefer to be with someone who shares my desire to live a meaningful life, in service of the 36 Gods. Not every conversation has to be a serious one — a man with a sharp wit and a quick sense of humor is definitely sexy. A man with love-handles and womanly thighs is delicious. If we break up I’ll eat you.

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2 Responses to “MACHO STEAK JET PERSONALS!”

  1. Thor Thorson Says:

    I’m gonna ravage that there puss-SAY! MMM MMMM MMMM MMMMM MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMmmmmmmmmm………………….*

  2. machosteakjet Says:

    In a truly surprising twist of fate, the marrying age in my culture is 9 and the females come of age when their birthing jute cloth merges with their upper body!!!!!!!!!

    I love long walks in dark woods, eating twigs right on the tree, making jerky out of children and I have a penis which floats two feet in front of me. Can we go on a date and see what blossoms?! Pleeeeeassssseeee?! I could use a credit card scalping right about now!

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