Archive for the Absolute Concept Category

Posted in 1 to go, 13th Floored, 28 Foot Dude, 3rd League Kawanis Club, 87 mile beard, A Big Letter to Your Mother, A Wizard's Nose, Absolute Concept, Absolute Zero Froufrou, Albino Hair System, Atheist Silverback, , Bald Faced Mascot, Breaking News, Chupa-cobra!, Crystal City, Epicurean Torture Chamber, Erudite Libertines, Face Fuck Smash Core, Filthy Water People, First Time Doc, Hand Held Microphone, Hera, Hera; the economy; and YOU, Hoagie Nostalgia, I just found out I only have 2 hands, I Litter to Make Crazy Horse Cry, illegitimate Dream Children, IMMINENT DOOM, Interdimensional Tiki Bar, Jet Machista Del Filete, Macho Steak Jet News Service, Machosteak-Strahl, Machostekjet Fuuds, Meat Hero, Merkin Surprise, Merlin VS. Caring, MSJ & THE ENVIRONMENT, MSJ Annie Versa A, MSJ Fundraiser and Tutoring Romp, MSJ Interdimensional Diversification Services, MSJ Internationale, MSJ Personals, NATIVE AMERICAN RIVER CAT SHOW, Native American Science, NO MORE FUCKING AROUND, NO MORE 世界是漂亮PUPATING到另一個世界 AROUND, NOOO!!!!!, Nostradamus Kidnapping Spree, Oh Mexico!, Organic Centaur, Orginal Science Pleasings, Our Bodies Our Shelves, Post History Situation Comedy, Precoital Inaugural Truths, Preinaugural Postcoital Truths, Primate Freedom, REAL ISSUES, Relativist family reunion, Sandwich Mountain Retreat, Sasquatch Surrogate, Science, Science Now!, Sentient Neck Brace, Shower Genius, Solar Flair, Solar Knowledge Science Time!, The Safe Word: Snug Fit, Uncategorized, Underworld Freedoms!, Underworld Proteksions, Universal Consciousness, Universal Consciousness PART III, Universal Consciousness pt 2, Unmerciful Phone Call, Vestigial Wig, Wolverine Vs. A Baby on May 10, 2011 by 3rdpresident

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Message received! Bob Dole phones in from his secret base

Posted in 3rd League Kawanis Club, Absolute Concept, Betwix thine sheets hath done mine office, Breaking News, Dino-whore, Hamburger Sexy Mandolin Player Man, Hand Held Microphone, HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!, Human Interest Story, Merlin VS. Caring, MSJ & THE ENVIRONMENT, NO MORE 世界是漂亮PUPATING到另一個世界 AROUND, Primate Freedom, Science Now!, Sun Tan Gossip, The Entente of Ted Kennedy's Feelings™, Unflappable Grace, Zero Froufrou with tags , , , , , , on November 5, 2010 by machosteakjet

I’m just a regular American guy. I’ve got a truck, smoke a little too much, maybe missing a few toes. Nothing too unusual. At my 9-to-5 I’ve gotten by for years on my old Two Wolf Moon T-Shirt. “Bring the loader over to bay 4” they’d say, and I’d get over there and get it done, my two wolves classy enough for work but also letting the passing ladies know I’m a raging torrent of untamed American spirit yearning to breath free, preferably naked. I’m no Don Juan, but I did ok — mostly with Janice from Accounting, until she got diptheria.

Most of my income went to the good life, brewed high in the Rockies if you know what I mean. But one day I decided to take some hard earned dough and upgrade. Bigtime. When I got my Three Wolf Moon t-shirt, I knew my life had changed, but I didn’t know how much.

When I put it on, the effect was immediate. 33% more wolf was almost too much to handle. It was like wearing 1500 ccs of chaps on a 1800 cc motorcycle. The vibrations alone were almost enough to throw me off my stride. And the fact that the third wolf faces backwards while howling, demonstrating individuality at the same time as unity of purpose and nobility of spirit, was a metaphor so powerful Roy, the guy who steals my mail, practically took his own foot off with his weed whacker the moment he saw me.

Jesus.

After suturing him up with some spare baling twine, I trotted down to the hardware store to stock up. Bad idea. The rippling of my well endowed man curves apparently set the wolves to almost a hypnotic shimmering, trapped and yet freed under the opalescent moon they eternally worship and yet deny. Some guy took one look at me and backed right into a concrete planter. I almost stopped to see if he was ok, but then I remembered that wolves don’t stop for anybody, particularly when howling.

These days, I’m making $1.15 more an hour, and I keep getting free cable. With the savings, I’m thinking …maybe…just maybe, it’ll be Four Wolf Time soon. But for those of you who have put in your time and training on the One and Two wolf shirts, I highly recommend investing in an upgrade. You’ll never truly soar free without one.

Carnivorous Penguin Homeric Epic Undead Biopic

Posted in 13th Floored, 28 Foot Dude, A Big Letter to Your Mother, A Wizard's Nose, Absolute Concept, Absolute Zero Froufrou, Advancements in Plumbing, and YOU, ANDY GRIFFITH DIMENSION, , ☼♫♫♫♫♫☼, Bald Faced Mascot, Cannibalistic Mother, Cloaca, Filthy Water People, Flesh Suit, Habeus Arthropodum, Habeus Arthropodus, Infinity, Infinity + 1, Interdimensional Tiki Bar, Japanese Breakfast, Kris Kringle Assault, Krream Cheese, Meat Hero, NO MORE FUCKING AROUND, NO MORE 世界是漂亮PUPATING到另一個世界 AROUND, Organic Centaur, Rawhide Dawn, Science Now!, Succulent Cutlet Shroud, Wolverine Vs. A Baby, Wormhole Atlas, Zero Froufrou with tags , , , , , on July 2, 2009 by machosteakjet

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1,000,000 Mile meat puppet

Posted in 'n tasty, 28 Foot Dude, 87 mile beard, Absolute Concept, Frank Stallone: PISSED!, Interdimensional Tiki Bar, It's Getting Hot In Here, Jet Machista Del Filete, Komparative History™, Korean Peace Children, Macho Steak Jet News Service, Meat Hero, Merkin Surprise, Native American Science, NO MORE FUCKING AROUND, Primate Freedom, Rawhide Dawn, Sandwich Mountain Retreat, Shower Genius, Snacks, Tennessee Meat Goat with tags on July 1, 2009 by machosteakjet

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Indonesian Composting

Posted in 'n tasty, 28 Foot Dude, 3rd League Kawanis Club, 87 mile beard, A Wizard's Nose, Absolute Concept, Advancements in Plumbing, Atheist Silverback, Birthday Apocalypse, Crystal City, Gnostic Shopping Spree, Indonesian composting, Ω, Japanese Breakfast, Jet Machista Del Filete, Korean Peace Children, NATIVE AMERICAN RIVER CAT SHOW, Native American Science, Nostradamus Kidnapping Spree with tags , , , , on June 29, 2009 by machosteakjet

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A True Story:How MachoSteakJett Saved My Life And How It Could Save Yours Too

Posted in Absolute Concept, ANDY GRIFFITH DIMENSION, , ☼♫♫♫♫♫☼, सुंदर पुनर्जन्म., BIONAUTICS NOW!, Birth Footage (PARTIAL), C.S.O.H.M.S., Celery skin graft, Cloaca, CRISPERS!™, Damp With Sleet, Derailed Mountaineering Career, Fire Calliope, Gnostic Shopping Spree, GOD, Hera, Humane Blowhole, Infinity + 1, Kwan Yin, Lawn and Garden, MSJ Fundraiser and Tutoring Romp, MSJ Interdimensional Diversification Services, NATIVE AMERICAN RIVER CAT SHOW, Nostradamus Kidnapping Spree, Organic Centaur, Post History Situation Comedy, Ropey & No No, Runt Vacuity, Science Now!, Sherlock Tube, Shower Genius, Swash Chuckling Wedding, Universal Consciousness pt 2, Wormhole Atlas, 帝國主義 on June 5, 2009 by machosteakjet

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LEARNING- The more you know…..*

Posted in 13th Floored, 87 mile beard, A Big Letter to Your Mother, A Wizard's Nose, Absolute Concept, ANDY GRIFFITH DIMENSION, Atheist Silverback, , BIONAUTICS NOW!, Freckles are God's spit, GOD, Indonesian composting, Infinity, Infinity + 1, Interdimensional Tiki Bar, Ω, Meat Hero on May 1, 2009 by machosteakjet

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