Archive for the Bald Faced Mascot Category

Posted in 1 to go, 13th Floored, 28 Foot Dude, 3rd League Kawanis Club, 87 mile beard, A Big Letter to Your Mother, A Wizard's Nose, Absolute Concept, Absolute Zero Froufrou, Albino Hair System, Atheist Silverback, , Bald Faced Mascot, Breaking News, Chupa-cobra!, Crystal City, Epicurean Torture Chamber, Erudite Libertines, Face Fuck Smash Core, Filthy Water People, First Time Doc, Hand Held Microphone, Hera, Hera; the economy; and YOU, Hoagie Nostalgia, I just found out I only have 2 hands, I Litter to Make Crazy Horse Cry, illegitimate Dream Children, IMMINENT DOOM, Interdimensional Tiki Bar, Jet Machista Del Filete, Macho Steak Jet News Service, Machosteak-Strahl, Machostekjet Fuuds, Meat Hero, Merkin Surprise, Merlin VS. Caring, MSJ & THE ENVIRONMENT, MSJ Annie Versa A, MSJ Fundraiser and Tutoring Romp, MSJ Interdimensional Diversification Services, MSJ Internationale, MSJ Personals, NATIVE AMERICAN RIVER CAT SHOW, Native American Science, NO MORE FUCKING AROUND, NO MORE 世界是漂亮PUPATING到另一個世界 AROUND, NOOO!!!!!, Nostradamus Kidnapping Spree, Oh Mexico!, Organic Centaur, Orginal Science Pleasings, Our Bodies Our Shelves, Post History Situation Comedy, Precoital Inaugural Truths, Preinaugural Postcoital Truths, Primate Freedom, REAL ISSUES, Relativist family reunion, Sandwich Mountain Retreat, Sasquatch Surrogate, Science, Science Now!, Sentient Neck Brace, Shower Genius, Solar Flair, Solar Knowledge Science Time!, The Safe Word: Snug Fit, Uncategorized, Underworld Freedoms!, Underworld Proteksions, Universal Consciousness, Universal Consciousness PART III, Universal Consciousness pt 2, Unmerciful Phone Call, Vestigial Wig, Wolverine Vs. A Baby on May 10, 2011 by 3rdpresident

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RUPERT H. WHELDON ILLUSTRATED

Posted in 'n tasty, Advancements in Plumbing, Bald Faced Mascot, Big Butt's Flutaphone, Canary of the Sea, Cannibalistic Mother, Celery skin graft, Cloaca, Don't touch it!!, Earth-spray, Extra Ectoplasm Please, Flesh Suit, Fuud, Governance, Hamburger Sexy Mandolin Player Man, Humane Blowhole, Japanese Breakfast, Kris Kringle Assault, Krream Cheese, Machostekjet Fuuds, Meat Hero, Nature's Midwife, Our Bodies Our Shelves, Pelvic Issues, poop log, Presidential BBQ tips, Rawhide Dawn, Runt Vacuity, Sandwich Mountain Retreat, Shark Pile!, Snacks, Succulent Cutlet Shroud, Tender Fire, Tennessee Meat Goat, The Fresno Fishwich, Vampiric Pizza Hut with tags on December 4, 2009 by machosteakjet



How to eat sensually.

Carnivorous Penguin Homeric Epic Undead Biopic

Posted in 13th Floored, 28 Foot Dude, A Big Letter to Your Mother, A Wizard's Nose, Absolute Concept, Absolute Zero Froufrou, Advancements in Plumbing, and YOU, ANDY GRIFFITH DIMENSION, , ☼♫♫♫♫♫☼, Bald Faced Mascot, Cannibalistic Mother, Cloaca, Filthy Water People, Flesh Suit, Habeus Arthropodum, Habeus Arthropodus, Infinity, Infinity + 1, Interdimensional Tiki Bar, Japanese Breakfast, Kris Kringle Assault, Krream Cheese, Meat Hero, NO MORE FUCKING AROUND, NO MORE 世界是漂亮PUPATING到另一個世界 AROUND, Organic Centaur, Rawhide Dawn, Science Now!, Succulent Cutlet Shroud, Wolverine Vs. A Baby, Wormhole Atlas, Zero Froufrou with tags , , , , , on July 2, 2009 by machosteakjet

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한국어 당신의 어머니는 나의 개를 먹고 있다

Posted in 'n tasty, 13th Floored, 28 Foot Dude, 87 mile beard, A Big Letter to Your Mother, A Wizard's Nose, Absolute Concept, Absolute Zero Froufrou, Albino Hair System, and Sanjay Samuel, and Sanjay., and YOU, ANDY GRIFFITH DIMENSION, Arvak and Alsvid, Atheist Silverback, ☼♫♫♫♫♫☼, सुंदर पुनर्जन्म., Bald Faced Mascot, BARNEY FIFE PORTAL, Bearenstein Zygothrica dispar palatial Bears, Big Butt's Flutaphone, BIONAUTICS NOW!, Birthday Apocalypse, Cannibalistic Mother, Chupa-cobra!, Cloaca, Code Of Ethics, Color Theory for Big People, Corpulent Harpy, Crouching Bosom, Crystal City, Damp With Sleet, Dino-whore, Don't touch it!!, Dream Cycle Magnetic Resonance Theory, Economic Gibbon Flip, Ed, Education, El Agujero Dos, Epicurean Torture Chamber, Erudite Libertines, Flagrant Disrespect for The Law, Flesh Suit, Foam Lying, Frank Stallone: PISSED!, Frankfort Horizontal Position, Friend Group 1879!!, Friend Group 2008!!, Full Bodied Tatoo, Galapagos Sexpot, Giving Time, Gnostic Shopping Spree, Hand Held Microphone, Henna Time!, Hera; the economy; and YOU, Herme, Hoary Rackuun, Holiday Miracles, HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!, Huge Women, Human Interest Story, Human Kindness, I just found out I only have 2 hands, illegitimate Dream Children, Indonesian composting, Ω, αεριωθούμενο αεροπλάνο μπριζόλας φαλλοκρατών, Japanese Breakfast, Jet Machista Del Filete, Komparative History™, Korean Peace Children, Kwan Yin, Macho Steak Jet News Service, Machostekjet Fuuds, Magical Pretty Facepainting Custom Event Services, Merkin Surprise, Merlin VS. Caring, Mountain Vista, MSJ & THE ENVIRONMENT, MSJ Fundraiser and Tutoring Romp, MSJ Internationale, MSJ Personals, Nature's Midwife, New Yert, NO MORE 世界是漂亮PUPATING到另一個世界 AROUND, NOOO!!!!!, Nostradamus Kidnapping Spree, Organic Centaur, Orginal Science Pleasings, Our Bodies Our Shelves, Precoital Inaugural Truths, Preinaugural Postcoital Truths, Primate Freedom, REAL ISSUES, Remembering, Ropey & No No, Sandwich Mountain Retreat, Sasquatch Surrogate, Science Now!, Scrotal Hat, Sobriety S.O.S.C.U.B.A., Steam Goblin, Succulent Cutlet Shroud, Swash Chuckling Wedding, Symptoms, Tennessee Meat Goat, The Entente Of Ted Kennedy's Feelings, The Entente of Ted Kennedy's Feelings™, time travel, Treat Witch Tracing, Trucker Handles That Kill You, Uncategorized, Underworld Freedoms!, Universal Consciousness, Universal Consciousness PART III, Universal Consciousness pt 2, Velvet Gloved Frindship Approval, Vestigial Wig, Virulent Christmas Loins, Wolverine Vs. A Baby, Wormhole Atlas, YESSSSS!!!!!, Zero Froufrou, 帝國主義 with tags , , , , , on April 30, 2009 by machosteakjet
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Machosteakjet

Macho Steak Jet Personals!

Posted in and YOU, Bald Faced Mascot, Damp With Sleet, Macho Steak Jet News Service, MSJ Personals, Nature's Midwife, poop log, Ropey & No No, Runt Vacuity on March 23, 2009 by machosteakjet

Gender: Fellow!
Current Status: Single
Looking for: Romance, Friendship, Ownership
Body Type: Unexpectedly Bipedal
Eyes: Brown, Seemingly Sentient
Height: 18″ at the withers
Hair: All Over
Age: 24 months
Seeks: Female for Siring, Leg for Humping

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I’m just another average snowflake. I live a life of adventure, taking risks, making mistakes, learning from mistakes. I don’t live a planned life; I go out of my way to seize opportunity. I’m passionate about some of the things I do. I’m a sentient, bipedal dog. I carry too much baggage. I have too much debt. I eat lamb lung. I chase squirrels. I dream about chasing squirrels. If I ever get one of those mother-fucking squirrels I’m going to shake it really hard. I cannot read minds, I assume others cannot either so I speak in straight forward conversations. I cannot really speak, only make weird sort of wookie-ish calls like that dog on youTube that says “I Love You”. But he walks on four legs. I walk on two. In the picture? That’s an enormous lump of sugar on my head. And I’m holding hands with my ex-girlfriend. Yeah, she’s a human. I appreciate history. My biography would be a collection of short stories. I appreciate honesty. Autumn is my favorite season, bright colors, brisk air, sweaters. I don’t define my experiences my experiences define me. I am fun loving and goofy, yet I have a degree and career and I am responsible. I love silly jokes and think that smiling, laughing, teasing, playing fetch, scratching and sniffing are all important aspects to a relationship. So is humping legs, did I mention that? I don’t place great importance on money, except to get what you need to live. I don’t even have pockets. Life is more important and living life to the fullest is my goal. Money, power and status (in my book) has nothing to do with a full life! I like good kibble and good snausages. I love smoked pig ear. Sometimes I eat grass or my own poop (I know, I shouldn’t!!) I always vote, I write lots of letters, I belong to organizations. I volunteer, but not enough. I have a dramatically shorter life expectancy than humans, so hurry up!

MSJ’s 365th Year Blog Anniversary: Remembering He Who Possesses No Defined & Well-fixed Form

Posted in 28 Foot Dude, A Wizard's Nose, Bald Faced Mascot, Dino-whore, Filthy Water People, Foam Lying, Great and honorable change shape wet, I Litter to Make Crazy Horse Cry, Infinity + 1, MSJ Annie Versa A, Native American Science, New Yert, Plugs, Scary Basement Grampa, Science Now!, Scrotal Hat, Steam Goblin, Swash Chuckling Wedding, The Big Shouldered Why, Why Essents?, Wolverine Vs. A Baby on March 13, 2009 by machosteakjet

It was the winter of 1634, 365 years ago to this day, Western Science successfully commingled with Native American Sciencery Techniques in Wisconsin, USA. It was this day that MachoSteakJet™ was born. But that is not the only reason we celebrate today. No, today we celebrate the foundation on which our Great College of Science was built.

The Frenchman and co-father of our Blog, Nicollet, found the ‘People of The Filthy Water’ laughing by the River Winnebago. It was these people who first supplied our forefathers with our Original Mascot: Unktomi, The Trickster.

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“Sit!”

Sit! Let us remember our Original Mascot with a Story of Learning……………….

“Unktomi & the Ducks”

In the beginning, Unktomi had no form. His universe was personal and off-white and he knew no limitations. He was a clumsy cloud of flesh-fog that took interest in hunting. But with what would he hold his spear? A cloud cannot chase prey! He looked down at Wisconsin and laid his eyes on a form so beautiful he would base himself on it: the glistening body of The Original Man.

Now in the shape of the Original Man, his first stint killing a buffalo was disastrous. You see, the time it takes to kill something so large was just enough time for his arms to grow sentient and start quarreling. As he cut the choice meats from the enormous carcass, his right arm and left arm grew bored and decided to fight a bloody battle which left poor Unktomi gouged and shredded.

Now, Unktomi would shift his body again and attempt hunting. This time he would get it right! With his scrotum now perched on his head, his entrails wrapped firmly on the outside of his body, and his 28 foot penis worn as a scarf, he knew with certainty that this hunting trip would be different. Firstly he knew this because he set his sights on hunting duck, and secondly, and most importantly, his anus told him so.

After a day of successful hunting, Unktomi told his anus to keep guard over the roasting duck meat while he slept. As the moon rose and the wind blew, two wolves caught the scent of the delicious duck meat and approached Unktomi’s fire.

When they came close, much to their surprise, gas was expelled from somewhere. “Pooh” was the sound that was made. “Be careful! He must be awake!” said the lead wolf as they ran back away from the camp.

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“Be careful! He must be awake!”

After a while, the other wolf said “Well, I guess he is asleep now. That was only a bluff. He is always up to some tricks.” So again they approached the fire. Again gas was expelled and again they ran back. Three times this happened… Each time louder, still louder, the sound of the gas expelled. “Pooh! Pooh! Pooh!” Yet they did not run away. On the contrary they now began to eat the roasted pieces of duck surrounded in a cloud of gaseous poop.

When Unktomi awoke he was shouting mad and screamed to his Anus, “Oh, you too, you despicable object, what about your behavior? Did I not tell you to watch this fire? You shall remember this! As a punishment for your remissness, I will burn your mouth so you will not be able to use it!” So he took a piece of burning wood and burned the mouth of his anus. … And cried out in the pain he was inflicting on himself.