Archive for the Betwix thine sheets hath done mine office Category

Message received! Bob Dole phones in from his secret base

Posted in 3rd League Kawanis Club, Absolute Concept, Betwix thine sheets hath done mine office, Breaking News, Dino-whore, Hamburger Sexy Mandolin Player Man, Hand Held Microphone, HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!, Human Interest Story, Merlin VS. Caring, MSJ & THE ENVIRONMENT, NO MORE 世界是漂亮PUPATING到另一個世界 AROUND, Primate Freedom, Science Now!, Sun Tan Gossip, The Entente of Ted Kennedy's Feelings™, Unflappable Grace, Zero Froufrou with tags , , , , , , on November 5, 2010 by machosteakjet

I’m just a regular American guy. I’ve got a truck, smoke a little too much, maybe missing a few toes. Nothing too unusual. At my 9-to-5 I’ve gotten by for years on my old Two Wolf Moon T-Shirt. “Bring the loader over to bay 4” they’d say, and I’d get over there and get it done, my two wolves classy enough for work but also letting the passing ladies know I’m a raging torrent of untamed American spirit yearning to breath free, preferably naked. I’m no Don Juan, but I did ok — mostly with Janice from Accounting, until she got diptheria.

Most of my income went to the good life, brewed high in the Rockies if you know what I mean. But one day I decided to take some hard earned dough and upgrade. Bigtime. When I got my Three Wolf Moon t-shirt, I knew my life had changed, but I didn’t know how much.

When I put it on, the effect was immediate. 33% more wolf was almost too much to handle. It was like wearing 1500 ccs of chaps on a 1800 cc motorcycle. The vibrations alone were almost enough to throw me off my stride. And the fact that the third wolf faces backwards while howling, demonstrating individuality at the same time as unity of purpose and nobility of spirit, was a metaphor so powerful Roy, the guy who steals my mail, practically took his own foot off with his weed whacker the moment he saw me.

Jesus.

After suturing him up with some spare baling twine, I trotted down to the hardware store to stock up. Bad idea. The rippling of my well endowed man curves apparently set the wolves to almost a hypnotic shimmering, trapped and yet freed under the opalescent moon they eternally worship and yet deny. Some guy took one look at me and backed right into a concrete planter. I almost stopped to see if he was ok, but then I remembered that wolves don’t stop for anybody, particularly when howling.

These days, I’m making $1.15 more an hour, and I keep getting free cable. With the savings, I’m thinking …maybe…just maybe, it’ll be Four Wolf Time soon. But for those of you who have put in your time and training on the One and Two wolf shirts, I highly recommend investing in an upgrade. You’ll never truly soar free without one.

Posted in 1 to go, 2 borks down, 25331936, 25333386, 28 Foot Dude, and YOU, ☼♫♫♫♫♫☼, Betwix thine sheets hath done mine office, Big Butt's Flutaphone, BIONAUTICS NOW!, Candlecobra, Catain Ron 2, Flagrant Disrespect for The Law, Frank Stallone: PISSED!, French Piss, Friend Group 1879!!, Full Bodied Tatoo, Henna Time!, Hera; the economy; and YOU, Holiday Miracles, Human Interest Story, Humane Blowhole, IMMINENT DOOM, Infinity, Infinity + 1, Ingenuity and Progress, John Major Jenkins, John Tesh, Komparative History™, Korean Peace Children, Lemony Fredge, Meet me at the Sex Couch!, MORTAL KROMBAG, MSJ Personals, Murder Capitol of the worle, Murder of Crons, NATIVE AMERICAN RIVER CAT SHOW, NO MORE FUCKING AROUND, NO MORE 世界是漂亮PUPATING到另一個世界 AROUND, NOOO!!!!!, Oh Mexico!, Ooooo skimpy!, Pelvic Issues, penis shaped island, Plugs, Post History Situation Comedy, Relativist family reunion, Ropey & No No, Runt Vacuity, Sandwich Mountain Retreat, Scary Basement Grampa, Science, Science Now!, Scrotal Hat, Shantastico!, Sherlock Tube, Shower Genius, Solar Knowledge Science Time!, Steam Goblin, Succulent Cutlet Shroud, Sun Tan Gossip, The Entente of Ted Kennedy's Feelings™, The Fresno Fishwich, The Safe Word: Snug Fit, Unmerciful Phone Call, Vampiric Pizza Hut, Velvet Gloved Frindship Approval, X-mas Farge, Yanni Bake, Zero Froufrou on September 16, 2009 by machosteakjet

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