Archive for the Dino-whore Category

Message received! Bob Dole phones in from his secret base

Posted in 3rd League Kawanis Club, Absolute Concept, Betwix thine sheets hath done mine office, Breaking News, Dino-whore, Hamburger Sexy Mandolin Player Man, Hand Held Microphone, HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!, Human Interest Story, Merlin VS. Caring, MSJ & THE ENVIRONMENT, NO MORE 世界是漂亮PUPATING到另一個世界 AROUND, Primate Freedom, Science Now!, Sun Tan Gossip, The Entente of Ted Kennedy's Feelings™, Unflappable Grace, Zero Froufrou with tags , , , , , , on November 5, 2010 by machosteakjet

I’m just a regular American guy. I’ve got a truck, smoke a little too much, maybe missing a few toes. Nothing too unusual. At my 9-to-5 I’ve gotten by for years on my old Two Wolf Moon T-Shirt. “Bring the loader over to bay 4” they’d say, and I’d get over there and get it done, my two wolves classy enough for work but also letting the passing ladies know I’m a raging torrent of untamed American spirit yearning to breath free, preferably naked. I’m no Don Juan, but I did ok — mostly with Janice from Accounting, until she got diptheria.

Most of my income went to the good life, brewed high in the Rockies if you know what I mean. But one day I decided to take some hard earned dough and upgrade. Bigtime. When I got my Three Wolf Moon t-shirt, I knew my life had changed, but I didn’t know how much.

When I put it on, the effect was immediate. 33% more wolf was almost too much to handle. It was like wearing 1500 ccs of chaps on a 1800 cc motorcycle. The vibrations alone were almost enough to throw me off my stride. And the fact that the third wolf faces backwards while howling, demonstrating individuality at the same time as unity of purpose and nobility of spirit, was a metaphor so powerful Roy, the guy who steals my mail, practically took his own foot off with his weed whacker the moment he saw me.

Jesus.

After suturing him up with some spare baling twine, I trotted down to the hardware store to stock up. Bad idea. The rippling of my well endowed man curves apparently set the wolves to almost a hypnotic shimmering, trapped and yet freed under the opalescent moon they eternally worship and yet deny. Some guy took one look at me and backed right into a concrete planter. I almost stopped to see if he was ok, but then I remembered that wolves don’t stop for anybody, particularly when howling.

These days, I’m making $1.15 more an hour, and I keep getting free cable. With the savings, I’m thinking …maybe…just maybe, it’ll be Four Wolf Time soon. But for those of you who have put in your time and training on the One and Two wolf shirts, I highly recommend investing in an upgrade. You’ll never truly soar free without one.

한국어 당신의 어머니는 나의 개를 먹고 있다

Posted in 'n tasty, 13th Floored, 28 Foot Dude, 87 mile beard, A Big Letter to Your Mother, A Wizard's Nose, Absolute Concept, Absolute Zero Froufrou, Albino Hair System, and Sanjay Samuel, and Sanjay., and YOU, ANDY GRIFFITH DIMENSION, Arvak and Alsvid, Atheist Silverback, ☼♫♫♫♫♫☼, सुंदर पुनर्जन्म., Bald Faced Mascot, BARNEY FIFE PORTAL, Bearenstein Zygothrica dispar palatial Bears, Big Butt's Flutaphone, BIONAUTICS NOW!, Birthday Apocalypse, Cannibalistic Mother, Chupa-cobra!, Cloaca, Code Of Ethics, Color Theory for Big People, Corpulent Harpy, Crouching Bosom, Crystal City, Damp With Sleet, Dino-whore, Don't touch it!!, Dream Cycle Magnetic Resonance Theory, Economic Gibbon Flip, Ed, Education, El Agujero Dos, Epicurean Torture Chamber, Erudite Libertines, Flagrant Disrespect for The Law, Flesh Suit, Foam Lying, Frank Stallone: PISSED!, Frankfort Horizontal Position, Friend Group 1879!!, Friend Group 2008!!, Full Bodied Tatoo, Galapagos Sexpot, Giving Time, Gnostic Shopping Spree, Hand Held Microphone, Henna Time!, Hera; the economy; and YOU, Herme, Hoary Rackuun, Holiday Miracles, HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!, Huge Women, Human Interest Story, Human Kindness, I just found out I only have 2 hands, illegitimate Dream Children, Indonesian composting, Ω, αεριωθούμενο αεροπλάνο μπριζόλας φαλλοκρατών, Japanese Breakfast, Jet Machista Del Filete, Komparative History™, Korean Peace Children, Kwan Yin, Macho Steak Jet News Service, Machostekjet Fuuds, Magical Pretty Facepainting Custom Event Services, Merkin Surprise, Merlin VS. Caring, Mountain Vista, MSJ & THE ENVIRONMENT, MSJ Fundraiser and Tutoring Romp, MSJ Internationale, MSJ Personals, Nature's Midwife, New Yert, NO MORE 世界是漂亮PUPATING到另一個世界 AROUND, NOOO!!!!!, Nostradamus Kidnapping Spree, Organic Centaur, Orginal Science Pleasings, Our Bodies Our Shelves, Precoital Inaugural Truths, Preinaugural Postcoital Truths, Primate Freedom, REAL ISSUES, Remembering, Ropey & No No, Sandwich Mountain Retreat, Sasquatch Surrogate, Science Now!, Scrotal Hat, Sobriety S.O.S.C.U.B.A., Steam Goblin, Succulent Cutlet Shroud, Swash Chuckling Wedding, Symptoms, Tennessee Meat Goat, The Entente Of Ted Kennedy's Feelings, The Entente of Ted Kennedy's Feelings™, time travel, Treat Witch Tracing, Trucker Handles That Kill You, Uncategorized, Underworld Freedoms!, Universal Consciousness, Universal Consciousness PART III, Universal Consciousness pt 2, Velvet Gloved Frindship Approval, Vestigial Wig, Virulent Christmas Loins, Wolverine Vs. A Baby, Wormhole Atlas, YESSSSS!!!!!, Zero Froufrou, 帝國主義 with tags , , , , , on April 30, 2009 by machosteakjet
Machosteakjet

Machosteakjet

NACHO STEK jet!!! Yeeeeehaaawwww!!

Posted in Dino-whore, Dream Cycle Magnetic Resonance Theory, Economic Gibbon Flip, Fuud, I just found out I only have 2 hands, Infinity, Machostekjet Fuuds, Post History Situation Comedy, Sandwich Mountain Retreat, Steam Goblin with tags on March 30, 2009 by machosteakjet

Photobucket

Macho Steak Jet and the Environment

Posted in A Big Letter to Your Mother, Absolute Concept, and YOU, , Birthday Apocalypse, Black time travel, Canary of the Sea, Chap Camp™, Cloaca, Crystal City, Damp With Sleet, Derailed Mountaineering Career, Dino-whore, Dream Cycle Magnetic Resonance Theory, Earth-spray, First Time Docs, Galapagos Sexpot, Governance, Haegar und Hygiene, Home & Garden, HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!, Human Interest Story, Human Kindness, illegitimate Dream Children, Korean Peace Children, Kwan Yin, Lawn and Garden, Macho Steak Jet News Service, Mountain Vista, MSJ & THE ENVIRONMENT, Nature's Midwife, Oriental?, Our Bodies Our Shelves, Post History Situation Comedy, Rawhide Dawn, REAL ISSUES, Sasquatch Surrogate, When earth attacks, Why Essents?, Wormhole Atlas on March 23, 2009 by machosteakjet

Macho Steak Jet is committed to environmental leadership in all of its activities, from its technical operations to its award winning FIRST TIME DOCS. MSJ’s corporate policy on environmental affairs is supported by its global environmental sustainability management system business network governance strategy coalition, which is the key to science. The results have been significant:

• Redefine global warming as: Earth Is Totally Hot™!
• 30% increase in griffins over the last 2,500 years
• Get out of your car and into a horse corpse
• Psychomental phase/space “greening” thought broadcast (Universe)
• Reusable hands
• Environmentally Correct Underground Hovercraft
• Prudence
• Trendy euthanasia for the preteen set
• Removable deserts
• Polar Bears v. Tigers
• “Clean Coal”, “Clean Dirt”, “Clean Diarrhea”, “Clean Uncleanliness”, “Space”, “Time”, “True Love”, “Hatchbacks”
• Instant water
• Science
• Terra-forming India
• “Green” Beards (Projected 2014)

Environmental Stewardship

Stewardship

Here’s to a green future, Macho Steak Jet!

MSJ’s 365th Year Blog Anniversary: Remembering He Who Possesses No Defined & Well-fixed Form

Posted in 28 Foot Dude, A Wizard's Nose, Bald Faced Mascot, Dino-whore, Filthy Water People, Foam Lying, Great and honorable change shape wet, I Litter to Make Crazy Horse Cry, Infinity + 1, MSJ Annie Versa A, Native American Science, New Yert, Plugs, Scary Basement Grampa, Science Now!, Scrotal Hat, Steam Goblin, Swash Chuckling Wedding, The Big Shouldered Why, Why Essents?, Wolverine Vs. A Baby on March 13, 2009 by machosteakjet

It was the winter of 1634, 365 years ago to this day, Western Science successfully commingled with Native American Sciencery Techniques in Wisconsin, USA. It was this day that MachoSteakJet™ was born. But that is not the only reason we celebrate today. No, today we celebrate the foundation on which our Great College of Science was built.

The Frenchman and co-father of our Blog, Nicollet, found the ‘People of The Filthy Water’ laughing by the River Winnebago. It was these people who first supplied our forefathers with our Original Mascot: Unktomi, The Trickster.

sit2
“Sit!”

Sit! Let us remember our Original Mascot with a Story of Learning……………….

“Unktomi & the Ducks”

In the beginning, Unktomi had no form. His universe was personal and off-white and he knew no limitations. He was a clumsy cloud of flesh-fog that took interest in hunting. But with what would he hold his spear? A cloud cannot chase prey! He looked down at Wisconsin and laid his eyes on a form so beautiful he would base himself on it: the glistening body of The Original Man.

Now in the shape of the Original Man, his first stint killing a buffalo was disastrous. You see, the time it takes to kill something so large was just enough time for his arms to grow sentient and start quarreling. As he cut the choice meats from the enormous carcass, his right arm and left arm grew bored and decided to fight a bloody battle which left poor Unktomi gouged and shredded.

Now, Unktomi would shift his body again and attempt hunting. This time he would get it right! With his scrotum now perched on his head, his entrails wrapped firmly on the outside of his body, and his 28 foot penis worn as a scarf, he knew with certainty that this hunting trip would be different. Firstly he knew this because he set his sights on hunting duck, and secondly, and most importantly, his anus told him so.

After a day of successful hunting, Unktomi told his anus to keep guard over the roasting duck meat while he slept. As the moon rose and the wind blew, two wolves caught the scent of the delicious duck meat and approached Unktomi’s fire.

When they came close, much to their surprise, gas was expelled from somewhere. “Pooh” was the sound that was made. “Be careful! He must be awake!” said the lead wolf as they ran back away from the camp.

twowolves11
“Be careful! He must be awake!”

After a while, the other wolf said “Well, I guess he is asleep now. That was only a bluff. He is always up to some tricks.” So again they approached the fire. Again gas was expelled and again they ran back. Three times this happened… Each time louder, still louder, the sound of the gas expelled. “Pooh! Pooh! Pooh!” Yet they did not run away. On the contrary they now began to eat the roasted pieces of duck surrounded in a cloud of gaseous poop.

When Unktomi awoke he was shouting mad and screamed to his Anus, “Oh, you too, you despicable object, what about your behavior? Did I not tell you to watch this fire? You shall remember this! As a punishment for your remissness, I will burn your mouth so you will not be able to use it!” So he took a piece of burning wood and burned the mouth of his anus. … And cried out in the pain he was inflicting on himself.

NELSON MANDELA V. BOB BARKER

Posted in 13th Floored, 3rd League Kawanis Club, 87 mile beard, 9002, A Big Letter to Your Mother, A Wizard's Nose, Absolute Concept, Albino Hair System, ANDY GRIFFITH DIMENSION, Arvak and Alsvid, Atheist Silverback, , सुंदर पुनर्जन्म., BARNEY FIFE PORTAL, Bánh khúc cây Giáng sinh, Big Butt's Flutaphone, Birth Footage (PARTIAL), Birthday Apocalypse, Black time travel, Breaking News, Canary of the Sea, Chap Camp™, Chocolate Teeth, Christmas Time!, Chupa-cobra!, Color Theory for Big People, Crystal City, Dino-whore, Dream Cycle Magnetic Resonance Theory, Economic Gibbon Flip, Ed, Education, El Agujero Dos, El Circulo de la Fortuna, Epicurean Torture Chamber, Extra Ectoplasm Please, Face Fuck Smash Core, First Time Doc, First Time Docs, Flagrant Disrespect for The Law, Flesh Suit, Frank Stallone: PISSED!, Friend Group 1879!!, Friend Group 2008!!, Full Bodied Tatoo, Galapagos Sexpot, Giving Time, Gnostic Shopping Spree, GOD, Great and honorable change shape wet, Gylfaginning Delight, Habeus Arthropodum, Habeus Arthropodus, Haegar und Hygiene, Hand Held Microphone, Henna Time!, Hoary Rackuun, Holiday Miracles, Horse Riding Lions, Huge Women, Human Interest Story, Human Kindness, Humane Blowhole, I just found out I only have 2 hands, I Litter to Make Crazy Horse Cry, illegitimate Dream Children, Indonesian composting, Infinity, Infinity + 1, It's Getting Hot In Here, Ω, Japanese Breakfast, Jet Machista Del Filete, John Tesh, Komparative History™, Korean Peace Children, Kris Kringle Assault, Krream Cheese, Kwan Yin, Lawn and Garden, Macho Steak Jet News Service, Merkin Surprise, Merlin VS. Caring, Mountain Vista, MSJ Fundraiser and Tutoring Romp, MSJ Internationale, Murder of Crons, Nature's Midwife, New Born Induced Orgasms, Nostradamus Kidnapping Spree, Oiled Leather Overalls, Oriental?, Original Hymen Destruction, Pelvic Issues, poop log, Post History Situation Comedy, Precoital Inaugural Truths, Preinaugural Postcoital Truths, Presidential BBQ tips, Rawhide Dawn, REAL ISSUES, Remembering, Ropey & No No, Runt Vacuity, Same Channel, Sandwich Mountain Retreat, Sasquatch Surrogate, Scary Basement Grampa, Science, Science Now!, Sentient Neck Brace, Shantastico!, Sherlock Tube, Shower Genius, Slutty nun midget whippings, Smart Philanthrophy Choices, So Take Out All Your Files, Sobriety S.O.S.C.U.B.A., Sun Tan Gossip, SURD, Symptoms, Tennessee Meat Goat, The Big Shouldered Why, The Entente Of Ted Kennedy's Feelings, The Entente of Ted Kennedy's Feelings™, The Fresno Fishwich, time travel, Titz, Trucker Handles That Kill You, Uncategorized, Underworld Freedoms!, Underworld Proteksions, Unflappable Grace, Universal Consciousness, Universal Consciousness PART III, Universal Consciousness pt 2, Unmerciful Phone Call, Velvet Gloved Frindship Approval, Vestigial Wig, Virulent Christmas Loins, Welcome, Why Essents?, Wormhole Atlas, X-mas Farge, Yanni Bake, 帝國主義 on March 5, 2009 by machosteakjet

+

=

!?