Archive for the GOD Category

MAGIC|dreamspace|SPRITUAL|holistic|ORGANLESS BODIES

Posted in , Chocolate Teeth, Crusteasian Amphibious Evolvement, Don't touch it!!, Ed, Extra Ectoplasm Please, Freckles are God's spit, Full Bodied Tatoo, GOD, Henna Time!, Homeful Car Singings, Huge Women, I BROADCAST LOUD., illegitimate Dream Children, Inspiring Anne Geddes Since 1901, John Tesh, Lawn and Garden, Merkin Surprise, MSJ Internationale, Native American Science, NOOO!!!!!, Plugs, Primate Freedom, Ropey & No No, Science Now!, Slutty nun midget whippings, Steam Goblin, The Big Shouldered Why, time travel, Unflappable Grace, Velvet Gloved Frindship Approval, Wormhole Atlas, YESSSSS!!!!! on June 26, 2009 by machosteakjet

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A True Story:How MachoSteakJett Saved My Life And How It Could Save Yours Too

Posted in Absolute Concept, ANDY GRIFFITH DIMENSION, , ☼♫♫♫♫♫☼, सुंदर पुनर्जन्म., BIONAUTICS NOW!, Birth Footage (PARTIAL), C.S.O.H.M.S., Celery skin graft, Cloaca, CRISPERS!™, Damp With Sleet, Derailed Mountaineering Career, Fire Calliope, Gnostic Shopping Spree, GOD, Hera, Humane Blowhole, Infinity + 1, Kwan Yin, Lawn and Garden, MSJ Fundraiser and Tutoring Romp, MSJ Interdimensional Diversification Services, NATIVE AMERICAN RIVER CAT SHOW, Nostradamus Kidnapping Spree, Organic Centaur, Post History Situation Comedy, Ropey & No No, Runt Vacuity, Science Now!, Sherlock Tube, Shower Genius, Swash Chuckling Wedding, Universal Consciousness pt 2, Wormhole Atlas, 帝國主義 on June 5, 2009 by machosteakjet

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LEARNING- The more you know…..*

Posted in 13th Floored, 87 mile beard, A Big Letter to Your Mother, A Wizard's Nose, Absolute Concept, ANDY GRIFFITH DIMENSION, Atheist Silverback, , BIONAUTICS NOW!, Freckles are God's spit, GOD, Indonesian composting, Infinity, Infinity + 1, Interdimensional Tiki Bar, Ω, Meat Hero on May 1, 2009 by machosteakjet

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I am Released: La Befana, Basta, Basta

Posted in A Big Letter to Your Mother, Absolute Concept, Big Butt's Flutaphone, Branding Message Ending, Chocolate Teeth, Crouching Bosom, Don't touch it!!, Earth-spray, Face Fuck Smash Core, Frank Stallone: PISSED!, GOD, Great and honorable change shape wet, Haegar und Hygiene, Homeful Car Singings, HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!, Humane Blowhole, Ingenuity and Progress, It's Getting Hot In Here, Merlin VS. Caring, Murder of Crons, Organic Centaur, Plugs, Presidential BBQ tips, Runt Vacuity, The Entente of Ted Kennedy's Feelings™, Zero Froufrou on April 1, 2009 by machosteakjet

As the Italian legend has it, the three Wise Men were in search of the Christ Child when they decided to stop at a small house to ask for directions. Upon knocking, an old woman holding a broom opened the door slightly to see who was there. Standing at her doorstep were three colorfully dressed men who were in need of directions to find the Christ Child. The old woman was unaware of who these three men were looking for and could not point them in the right direction. They kindly asked the old woman to join them on their journey. She declined because she had much housework to do. ‘Ho molto scopare da fare’, said she.
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(Above) La scopa

After the three men left she felt as though she had made a mistake. How was she to know that this simple misunderstanding would eventually damn her soul to eternal wandering? Thinking of the opportunity she had missed, the old woman stopped every child to give them a small treat in hopes that one was the Christ child. The first child the old woman fed a treat to died of a peanut allergy, and so thusly, was cursed for eternity by God.

Each year on the eve of the Epiphany she sets out with her bag of peanut candy searching each child’s house for Christ. La Befana has haunted children for over 2,000 years and it was thought that for countless years more she would continue to haunt until The Lion at World’s End finally released her. Recent skeletal remains tell a different tale. Le Befana is dead; there is no question. But was this an unlawful mercy killing, or does our recent discovery unearth a much darker truth? Oh Lion, Oh Slippery Pale of Sleeping Basilisks, shall we now prepare our final nine steps and follow you down in our own Hel-Shoes?

Although our question may not be answered until it is too late, let us use our time wisely and search for some truths. Firstly, how did we know the skull and broom we unearthed was that of La Befana? When skeletal remains are found, and the victim remains unidentified after traditional means of identification fail, MSJ investigators may call upon the forensic artist to utilize the three-dimensional facial reconstruction technique.
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Investigators may call upon the forensic artist

The three-dimensional process is initiated by placing the skull on a workable stand, where it can easily be tilted and turned in all directions. The skull must be positioned in The Frankfort Horizontal Position for optimal viewing:
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Tissue markers and clay will be systematically applied directly on the skull following its contours. Measurements are then made, and logged, to determine nose thickness/length, mouth thickness/width, and eye placement. Information such as geographic location of where the deceased lived/ died, his or her lifestyle, and the various information provided to the artist by the Forensic Anthropologist and other professionals, is heavily relied upon when completing the reconstruction.

In terms of life style we can safely put her in the ever growing category of ‘Eternal Wanderer’. As for geographic location we can not accurately say since the entire Earth was her prison. Luckily though we know where she died because her remains show us that the nameless marshland outside the city limits of Ferrara is in fact where she inhaled copious amounts of bog mud. Samples taken that had coalesced inside her skull’s nose cavity places her approximate death in and around the year of 2007.

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Before and after: Christmas Witch of Italy: La Befana

Both our forensic anthropologist and artists were astounded by what they had discovered. We may never know who killed La Befana and this may be the end of our world. While these discoveries are very important, The College of MachoSteakJet™ is most intrigued by the notion that the blight of eternal suffering can be broken by an even more heinous crime of murder. God cast his angered eye down and smote La Befana with his holy justice. This we know. But if murder is in the domain of Old Nick, does this mean his will is ultimately stronger than our Golden Savior of Holy Might and Righteousness? One day we hope our science will be muscular enough to identify, but in the meantime, we can only pray.
Rest in Peace Treat Witch.

We most likely will meet your spirit very, very soon.

NELSON MANDELA V. BOB BARKER

Posted in 13th Floored, 3rd League Kawanis Club, 87 mile beard, 9002, A Big Letter to Your Mother, A Wizard's Nose, Absolute Concept, Albino Hair System, ANDY GRIFFITH DIMENSION, Arvak and Alsvid, Atheist Silverback, , सुंदर पुनर्जन्म., BARNEY FIFE PORTAL, Bánh khúc cây Giáng sinh, Big Butt's Flutaphone, Birth Footage (PARTIAL), Birthday Apocalypse, Black time travel, Breaking News, Canary of the Sea, Chap Camp™, Chocolate Teeth, Christmas Time!, Chupa-cobra!, Color Theory for Big People, Crystal City, Dino-whore, Dream Cycle Magnetic Resonance Theory, Economic Gibbon Flip, Ed, Education, El Agujero Dos, El Circulo de la Fortuna, Epicurean Torture Chamber, Extra Ectoplasm Please, Face Fuck Smash Core, First Time Doc, First Time Docs, Flagrant Disrespect for The Law, Flesh Suit, Frank Stallone: PISSED!, Friend Group 1879!!, Friend Group 2008!!, Full Bodied Tatoo, Galapagos Sexpot, Giving Time, Gnostic Shopping Spree, GOD, Great and honorable change shape wet, Gylfaginning Delight, Habeus Arthropodum, Habeus Arthropodus, Haegar und Hygiene, Hand Held Microphone, Henna Time!, Hoary Rackuun, Holiday Miracles, Horse Riding Lions, Huge Women, Human Interest Story, Human Kindness, Humane Blowhole, I just found out I only have 2 hands, I Litter to Make Crazy Horse Cry, illegitimate Dream Children, Indonesian composting, Infinity, Infinity + 1, It's Getting Hot In Here, Ω, Japanese Breakfast, Jet Machista Del Filete, John Tesh, Komparative History™, Korean Peace Children, Kris Kringle Assault, Krream Cheese, Kwan Yin, Lawn and Garden, Macho Steak Jet News Service, Merkin Surprise, Merlin VS. Caring, Mountain Vista, MSJ Fundraiser and Tutoring Romp, MSJ Internationale, Murder of Crons, Nature's Midwife, New Born Induced Orgasms, Nostradamus Kidnapping Spree, Oiled Leather Overalls, Oriental?, Original Hymen Destruction, Pelvic Issues, poop log, Post History Situation Comedy, Precoital Inaugural Truths, Preinaugural Postcoital Truths, Presidential BBQ tips, Rawhide Dawn, REAL ISSUES, Remembering, Ropey & No No, Runt Vacuity, Same Channel, Sandwich Mountain Retreat, Sasquatch Surrogate, Scary Basement Grampa, Science, Science Now!, Sentient Neck Brace, Shantastico!, Sherlock Tube, Shower Genius, Slutty nun midget whippings, Smart Philanthrophy Choices, So Take Out All Your Files, Sobriety S.O.S.C.U.B.A., Sun Tan Gossip, SURD, Symptoms, Tennessee Meat Goat, The Big Shouldered Why, The Entente Of Ted Kennedy's Feelings, The Entente of Ted Kennedy's Feelings™, The Fresno Fishwich, time travel, Titz, Trucker Handles That Kill You, Uncategorized, Underworld Freedoms!, Underworld Proteksions, Unflappable Grace, Universal Consciousness, Universal Consciousness PART III, Universal Consciousness pt 2, Unmerciful Phone Call, Velvet Gloved Frindship Approval, Vestigial Wig, Virulent Christmas Loins, Welcome, Why Essents?, Wormhole Atlas, X-mas Farge, Yanni Bake, 帝國主義 on March 5, 2009 by machosteakjet

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Another Satisfied Customer!

Posted in 9002, ANDY GRIFFITH DIMENSION, Crystal City, Dream Cycle Magnetic Resonance Theory, Economic Gibbon Flip, Epicurean Torture Chamber, Galapagos Sexpot, GOD, Human Interest Story, Ω, John Tesh, Kwan Yin, Lawn and Garden, REAL ISSUES, Science Now!, Sentient Neck Brace, Trucker Handles That Kill You, Universal Consciousness, Universal Consciousness pt 2, Vestigial Wig on January 10, 2009 by machosteakjet

Shawnee Wilkins

Try to forget just for a moment how many deaths needlessly occurred that day, and try to picture instead all of those beautiful children sitting on Jesus’ lap, glowing and looking down on us and blowing us angel kisses from on high. Just think of tiny, frail Jimmy Yitter who was so good with the animals but had to use those horrible, horrible crutches. Now he is the ringmaster, entertaining all of the other angels with his heavenly three ring circus! Or Sue, the Taiwanese girl adopted by the Pattersons who had all those learning disabilities. Guess what she’s up to? Why she’s probably solving the hardest equations and math problems that the angel Gabriel can throw her way. And what about Tony Higgerton? Now that was a young boy that had talent! I can just see him running and flipping all over the place up there. Why I’ll bet he’s probably applying one of those half-nelsons to good ol’ Ebekenezer himself. And don’t forget about Shawnee Wilkins. Even though she was developing an unhealthy interest in boys way too early if you ask me, I’m sure she is in Heaven right now asking to be forgiven for all of her transgressions. And the good Lord is smiling down on her tiny face and judging her with all of his infinite wisdom. Because you see, the Lord always does the right thing. I think it helps to remember: these sweet children were not really ours at all. You see, the way I look at it we’re just baby sitting for God.

सुंदर पुनर्जन्म.

Posted in Absolute Concept, सुंदर पुनर्जन्म., Crystal City, El Circulo de la Fortuna, First Time Doc, First Time Docs, GOD, Huge Women, I just found out I only have 2 hands, illegitimate Dream Children, Kwan Yin, Lawn and Garden, Mountain Vista, Nature's Midwife, Oriental?, Remembering, Science Now!, The Fresno Fishwich, Welcome, Why Essents?, Yanni Bake with tags , , on January 2, 2009 by machosteakjet

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