Archive for the Great and honorable change shape wet Category

High Tech Proof Shows Frank Asch Leads To Asian Supremacism

Posted in Great and honorable change shape wet, Oh Mexico!, Science Now!, Sun Tan Gossip, Vampiric Pizza Hut, Why Essents? on January 6, 2010 by machosteakjet

Recent evidence uncovered by Macho Steak Jet Highest Tech Satchmo Labs™ strongly suggests that the poetry of children’s book author Frank Asch leads to an Asian Supremacist agenda. The graphic below shows an incontrovertible link from Asch’s poem Play to a sophisticated east Asian Supremacist sleeper cell:

A Macho Steak Jet HTSL™ administrator who commented on condition of anonymity said: “i’d shoot a puppy over the boarder into Xanadu to send a message to the hot goblins that I won’t sit around and let them live behind my mirror to watch me undress and shampoo my pink pony tail. always bet on black.” Unchecked, he warned, this type of undermining could lead to a dangerous future.

Machosteak-Strahl

Posted in Bearenstein Zygothrica dispar palatial Bears, Branding Message Ending, Crusteasian Amphibious Evolvement, Dream Cycle Magnetic Resonance Theory, Flagrant Disrespect for The Law, Frankfort Horizontal Position, Great and honorable change shape wet, HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!, Machosteak-Strahl, Magical Pretty Facepainting Custom Event Services, MSJ Interdimensional Diversification Services, NATIVE AMERICAN RIVER CAT SHOW, NO MORE 世界是漂亮PUPATING到另一個世界 AROUND, S.A.F.E.T.Y., The Entente of Ted Kennedy's Feelings™ with tags , , on June 26, 2009 by machosteakjet

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I am Released: La Befana, Basta, Basta

Posted in A Big Letter to Your Mother, Absolute Concept, Big Butt's Flutaphone, Branding Message Ending, Chocolate Teeth, Crouching Bosom, Don't touch it!!, Earth-spray, Face Fuck Smash Core, Frank Stallone: PISSED!, GOD, Great and honorable change shape wet, Haegar und Hygiene, Homeful Car Singings, HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!, Humane Blowhole, Ingenuity and Progress, It's Getting Hot In Here, Merlin VS. Caring, Murder of Crons, Organic Centaur, Plugs, Presidential BBQ tips, Runt Vacuity, The Entente of Ted Kennedy's Feelings™, Zero Froufrou on April 1, 2009 by machosteakjet

As the Italian legend has it, the three Wise Men were in search of the Christ Child when they decided to stop at a small house to ask for directions. Upon knocking, an old woman holding a broom opened the door slightly to see who was there. Standing at her doorstep were three colorfully dressed men who were in need of directions to find the Christ Child. The old woman was unaware of who these three men were looking for and could not point them in the right direction. They kindly asked the old woman to join them on their journey. She declined because she had much housework to do. ‘Ho molto scopare da fare’, said she.
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(Above) La scopa

After the three men left she felt as though she had made a mistake. How was she to know that this simple misunderstanding would eventually damn her soul to eternal wandering? Thinking of the opportunity she had missed, the old woman stopped every child to give them a small treat in hopes that one was the Christ child. The first child the old woman fed a treat to died of a peanut allergy, and so thusly, was cursed for eternity by God.

Each year on the eve of the Epiphany she sets out with her bag of peanut candy searching each child’s house for Christ. La Befana has haunted children for over 2,000 years and it was thought that for countless years more she would continue to haunt until The Lion at World’s End finally released her. Recent skeletal remains tell a different tale. Le Befana is dead; there is no question. But was this an unlawful mercy killing, or does our recent discovery unearth a much darker truth? Oh Lion, Oh Slippery Pale of Sleeping Basilisks, shall we now prepare our final nine steps and follow you down in our own Hel-Shoes?

Although our question may not be answered until it is too late, let us use our time wisely and search for some truths. Firstly, how did we know the skull and broom we unearthed was that of La Befana? When skeletal remains are found, and the victim remains unidentified after traditional means of identification fail, MSJ investigators may call upon the forensic artist to utilize the three-dimensional facial reconstruction technique.
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Investigators may call upon the forensic artist

The three-dimensional process is initiated by placing the skull on a workable stand, where it can easily be tilted and turned in all directions. The skull must be positioned in The Frankfort Horizontal Position for optimal viewing:
frankfort-horizontal-position

Tissue markers and clay will be systematically applied directly on the skull following its contours. Measurements are then made, and logged, to determine nose thickness/length, mouth thickness/width, and eye placement. Information such as geographic location of where the deceased lived/ died, his or her lifestyle, and the various information provided to the artist by the Forensic Anthropologist and other professionals, is heavily relied upon when completing the reconstruction.

In terms of life style we can safely put her in the ever growing category of ‘Eternal Wanderer’. As for geographic location we can not accurately say since the entire Earth was her prison. Luckily though we know where she died because her remains show us that the nameless marshland outside the city limits of Ferrara is in fact where she inhaled copious amounts of bog mud. Samples taken that had coalesced inside her skull’s nose cavity places her approximate death in and around the year of 2007.

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Before and after: Christmas Witch of Italy: La Befana

Both our forensic anthropologist and artists were astounded by what they had discovered. We may never know who killed La Befana and this may be the end of our world. While these discoveries are very important, The College of MachoSteakJet™ is most intrigued by the notion that the blight of eternal suffering can be broken by an even more heinous crime of murder. God cast his angered eye down and smote La Befana with his holy justice. This we know. But if murder is in the domain of Old Nick, does this mean his will is ultimately stronger than our Golden Savior of Holy Might and Righteousness? One day we hope our science will be muscular enough to identify, but in the meantime, we can only pray.
Rest in Peace Treat Witch.

We most likely will meet your spirit very, very soon.

SIGNS OF THE TIMES

Posted in Advancements in Plumbing, Cloaca, Code Of Ethics, Foam Lying, Great and honorable change shape wet, Merkin Surprise, Original Hymen Destruction, Our Bodies Our Shelves, Pelvic Issues, Plugs, REAL ISSUES, Science, Science Now!, Shower Genius on April 1, 2009 by machosteakjet

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MSJ’s 365th Year Blog Anniversary: Remembering He Who Possesses No Defined & Well-fixed Form

Posted in 28 Foot Dude, A Wizard's Nose, Bald Faced Mascot, Dino-whore, Filthy Water People, Foam Lying, Great and honorable change shape wet, I Litter to Make Crazy Horse Cry, Infinity + 1, MSJ Annie Versa A, Native American Science, New Yert, Plugs, Scary Basement Grampa, Science Now!, Scrotal Hat, Steam Goblin, Swash Chuckling Wedding, The Big Shouldered Why, Why Essents?, Wolverine Vs. A Baby on March 13, 2009 by machosteakjet

It was the winter of 1634, 365 years ago to this day, Western Science successfully commingled with Native American Sciencery Techniques in Wisconsin, USA. It was this day that MachoSteakJet™ was born. But that is not the only reason we celebrate today. No, today we celebrate the foundation on which our Great College of Science was built.

The Frenchman and co-father of our Blog, Nicollet, found the ‘People of The Filthy Water’ laughing by the River Winnebago. It was these people who first supplied our forefathers with our Original Mascot: Unktomi, The Trickster.

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“Sit!”

Sit! Let us remember our Original Mascot with a Story of Learning……………….

“Unktomi & the Ducks”

In the beginning, Unktomi had no form. His universe was personal and off-white and he knew no limitations. He was a clumsy cloud of flesh-fog that took interest in hunting. But with what would he hold his spear? A cloud cannot chase prey! He looked down at Wisconsin and laid his eyes on a form so beautiful he would base himself on it: the glistening body of The Original Man.

Now in the shape of the Original Man, his first stint killing a buffalo was disastrous. You see, the time it takes to kill something so large was just enough time for his arms to grow sentient and start quarreling. As he cut the choice meats from the enormous carcass, his right arm and left arm grew bored and decided to fight a bloody battle which left poor Unktomi gouged and shredded.

Now, Unktomi would shift his body again and attempt hunting. This time he would get it right! With his scrotum now perched on his head, his entrails wrapped firmly on the outside of his body, and his 28 foot penis worn as a scarf, he knew with certainty that this hunting trip would be different. Firstly he knew this because he set his sights on hunting duck, and secondly, and most importantly, his anus told him so.

After a day of successful hunting, Unktomi told his anus to keep guard over the roasting duck meat while he slept. As the moon rose and the wind blew, two wolves caught the scent of the delicious duck meat and approached Unktomi’s fire.

When they came close, much to their surprise, gas was expelled from somewhere. “Pooh” was the sound that was made. “Be careful! He must be awake!” said the lead wolf as they ran back away from the camp.

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“Be careful! He must be awake!”

After a while, the other wolf said “Well, I guess he is asleep now. That was only a bluff. He is always up to some tricks.” So again they approached the fire. Again gas was expelled and again they ran back. Three times this happened… Each time louder, still louder, the sound of the gas expelled. “Pooh! Pooh! Pooh!” Yet they did not run away. On the contrary they now began to eat the roasted pieces of duck surrounded in a cloud of gaseous poop.

When Unktomi awoke he was shouting mad and screamed to his Anus, “Oh, you too, you despicable object, what about your behavior? Did I not tell you to watch this fire? You shall remember this! As a punishment for your remissness, I will burn your mouth so you will not be able to use it!” So he took a piece of burning wood and burned the mouth of his anus. … And cried out in the pain he was inflicting on himself.

NELSON MANDELA V. BOB BARKER

Posted in 13th Floored, 3rd League Kawanis Club, 87 mile beard, 9002, A Big Letter to Your Mother, A Wizard's Nose, Absolute Concept, Albino Hair System, ANDY GRIFFITH DIMENSION, Arvak and Alsvid, Atheist Silverback, , सुंदर पुनर्जन्म., BARNEY FIFE PORTAL, Bánh khúc cây Giáng sinh, Big Butt's Flutaphone, Birth Footage (PARTIAL), Birthday Apocalypse, Black time travel, Breaking News, Canary of the Sea, Chap Camp™, Chocolate Teeth, Christmas Time!, Chupa-cobra!, Color Theory for Big People, Crystal City, Dino-whore, Dream Cycle Magnetic Resonance Theory, Economic Gibbon Flip, Ed, Education, El Agujero Dos, El Circulo de la Fortuna, Epicurean Torture Chamber, Extra Ectoplasm Please, Face Fuck Smash Core, First Time Doc, First Time Docs, Flagrant Disrespect for The Law, Flesh Suit, Frank Stallone: PISSED!, Friend Group 1879!!, Friend Group 2008!!, Full Bodied Tatoo, Galapagos Sexpot, Giving Time, Gnostic Shopping Spree, GOD, Great and honorable change shape wet, Gylfaginning Delight, Habeus Arthropodum, Habeus Arthropodus, Haegar und Hygiene, Hand Held Microphone, Henna Time!, Hoary Rackuun, Holiday Miracles, Horse Riding Lions, Huge Women, Human Interest Story, Human Kindness, Humane Blowhole, I just found out I only have 2 hands, I Litter to Make Crazy Horse Cry, illegitimate Dream Children, Indonesian composting, Infinity, Infinity + 1, It's Getting Hot In Here, Ω, Japanese Breakfast, Jet Machista Del Filete, John Tesh, Komparative History™, Korean Peace Children, Kris Kringle Assault, Krream Cheese, Kwan Yin, Lawn and Garden, Macho Steak Jet News Service, Merkin Surprise, Merlin VS. Caring, Mountain Vista, MSJ Fundraiser and Tutoring Romp, MSJ Internationale, Murder of Crons, Nature's Midwife, New Born Induced Orgasms, Nostradamus Kidnapping Spree, Oiled Leather Overalls, Oriental?, Original Hymen Destruction, Pelvic Issues, poop log, Post History Situation Comedy, Precoital Inaugural Truths, Preinaugural Postcoital Truths, Presidential BBQ tips, Rawhide Dawn, REAL ISSUES, Remembering, Ropey & No No, Runt Vacuity, Same Channel, Sandwich Mountain Retreat, Sasquatch Surrogate, Scary Basement Grampa, Science, Science Now!, Sentient Neck Brace, Shantastico!, Sherlock Tube, Shower Genius, Slutty nun midget whippings, Smart Philanthrophy Choices, So Take Out All Your Files, Sobriety S.O.S.C.U.B.A., Sun Tan Gossip, SURD, Symptoms, Tennessee Meat Goat, The Big Shouldered Why, The Entente Of Ted Kennedy's Feelings, The Entente of Ted Kennedy's Feelings™, The Fresno Fishwich, time travel, Titz, Trucker Handles That Kill You, Uncategorized, Underworld Freedoms!, Underworld Proteksions, Unflappable Grace, Universal Consciousness, Universal Consciousness PART III, Universal Consciousness pt 2, Unmerciful Phone Call, Velvet Gloved Frindship Approval, Vestigial Wig, Virulent Christmas Loins, Welcome, Why Essents?, Wormhole Atlas, X-mas Farge, Yanni Bake, 帝國主義 on March 5, 2009 by machosteakjet

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MACHOSTEAKJET™ BREAKING NEWS! RARE DINOSAUR DIARRHEA FOUND IN AREA RESTAURANT

Posted in Big Butt's Flutaphone, Birth Footage (PARTIAL), Breaking News, Education, Great and honorable change shape wet, It's Getting Hot In Here, Macho Steak Jet News Service, Oriental?, poop log, REAL ISSUES, Science, Science Now!, Sherlock Tube, Symptoms, Unflappable Grace, Universal Consciousness pt 2 with tags , , , , , , , on January 8, 2009 by machosteakjet

RARE DINOSAUR DIARRHEA FOUND IN AREA RESTAURANT
Thursday, January 8th, 2009

(Chicago, USA)

For years scientists have known about “coprolites” or fossilized dinosaur droppings but for the first time, evidence of severe dinosaur dyspepsia has been found on a shelf at the Bennigan’s on Michigan Avenue.

Scientists have found the first example of dinosaur diarrhea at a downtown Chicago restaurant.

Scientists have found the first example of dinosaur diarrhea at a downtown Chicago restaurant.

“この恐竜を食べた白い城では、” said paleontologist Sluck Chong “明確な証拠だと思います。” Dr. Chong, along with gastroenterologist Catapult Destroyer, is credited with the discovery.

It seems the “diarrhealite” has been serving for many years as decor in the downtown Chicago restaurant because of its nuanced and alluring colors and textures. Because the sample had been removed from its original locality, it is unclear what kind of dinosaur it is from. Still, experts are calling this a significant find and know for certain the dinosaur had eaten corn in the 24 hours before depositing.

“This is the first indication we have that being a dinosaur wasn’t 100% completely awesome all the time, you know, totally gobbling cavewomen with your enormous jaws and no arms.” corroborated Dr. Destroyer.