Archive for the Merlin VS. Caring Category

Posted in 1 to go, 13th Floored, 28 Foot Dude, 3rd League Kawanis Club, 87 mile beard, A Big Letter to Your Mother, A Wizard's Nose, Absolute Concept, Absolute Zero Froufrou, Albino Hair System, Atheist Silverback, , Bald Faced Mascot, Breaking News, Chupa-cobra!, Crystal City, Epicurean Torture Chamber, Erudite Libertines, Face Fuck Smash Core, Filthy Water People, First Time Doc, Hand Held Microphone, Hera, Hera; the economy; and YOU, Hoagie Nostalgia, I just found out I only have 2 hands, I Litter to Make Crazy Horse Cry, illegitimate Dream Children, IMMINENT DOOM, Interdimensional Tiki Bar, Jet Machista Del Filete, Macho Steak Jet News Service, Machosteak-Strahl, Machostekjet Fuuds, Meat Hero, Merkin Surprise, Merlin VS. Caring, MSJ & THE ENVIRONMENT, MSJ Annie Versa A, MSJ Fundraiser and Tutoring Romp, MSJ Interdimensional Diversification Services, MSJ Internationale, MSJ Personals, NATIVE AMERICAN RIVER CAT SHOW, Native American Science, NO MORE FUCKING AROUND, NO MORE 世界是漂亮PUPATING到另一個世界 AROUND, NOOO!!!!!, Nostradamus Kidnapping Spree, Oh Mexico!, Organic Centaur, Orginal Science Pleasings, Our Bodies Our Shelves, Post History Situation Comedy, Precoital Inaugural Truths, Preinaugural Postcoital Truths, Primate Freedom, REAL ISSUES, Relativist family reunion, Sandwich Mountain Retreat, Sasquatch Surrogate, Science, Science Now!, Sentient Neck Brace, Shower Genius, Solar Flair, Solar Knowledge Science Time!, The Safe Word: Snug Fit, Uncategorized, Underworld Freedoms!, Underworld Proteksions, Universal Consciousness, Universal Consciousness PART III, Universal Consciousness pt 2, Unmerciful Phone Call, Vestigial Wig, Wolverine Vs. A Baby on May 10, 2011 by 3rdpresident

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Message received! Bob Dole phones in from his secret base

Posted in 3rd League Kawanis Club, Absolute Concept, Betwix thine sheets hath done mine office, Breaking News, Dino-whore, Hamburger Sexy Mandolin Player Man, Hand Held Microphone, HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!, Human Interest Story, Merlin VS. Caring, MSJ & THE ENVIRONMENT, NO MORE 世界是漂亮PUPATING到另一個世界 AROUND, Primate Freedom, Science Now!, Sun Tan Gossip, The Entente of Ted Kennedy's Feelings™, Unflappable Grace, Zero Froufrou with tags , , , , , , on November 5, 2010 by machosteakjet

I’m just a regular American guy. I’ve got a truck, smoke a little too much, maybe missing a few toes. Nothing too unusual. At my 9-to-5 I’ve gotten by for years on my old Two Wolf Moon T-Shirt. “Bring the loader over to bay 4” they’d say, and I’d get over there and get it done, my two wolves classy enough for work but also letting the passing ladies know I’m a raging torrent of untamed American spirit yearning to breath free, preferably naked. I’m no Don Juan, but I did ok — mostly with Janice from Accounting, until she got diptheria.

Most of my income went to the good life, brewed high in the Rockies if you know what I mean. But one day I decided to take some hard earned dough and upgrade. Bigtime. When I got my Three Wolf Moon t-shirt, I knew my life had changed, but I didn’t know how much.

When I put it on, the effect was immediate. 33% more wolf was almost too much to handle. It was like wearing 1500 ccs of chaps on a 1800 cc motorcycle. The vibrations alone were almost enough to throw me off my stride. And the fact that the third wolf faces backwards while howling, demonstrating individuality at the same time as unity of purpose and nobility of spirit, was a metaphor so powerful Roy, the guy who steals my mail, practically took his own foot off with his weed whacker the moment he saw me.

Jesus.

After suturing him up with some spare baling twine, I trotted down to the hardware store to stock up. Bad idea. The rippling of my well endowed man curves apparently set the wolves to almost a hypnotic shimmering, trapped and yet freed under the opalescent moon they eternally worship and yet deny. Some guy took one look at me and backed right into a concrete planter. I almost stopped to see if he was ok, but then I remembered that wolves don’t stop for anybody, particularly when howling.

These days, I’m making $1.15 more an hour, and I keep getting free cable. With the savings, I’m thinking …maybe…just maybe, it’ll be Four Wolf Time soon. But for those of you who have put in your time and training on the One and Two wolf shirts, I highly recommend investing in an upgrade. You’ll never truly soar free without one.

한국어 당신의 어머니는 나의 개를 먹고 있다

Posted in 'n tasty, 13th Floored, 28 Foot Dude, 87 mile beard, A Big Letter to Your Mother, A Wizard's Nose, Absolute Concept, Absolute Zero Froufrou, Albino Hair System, and Sanjay Samuel, and Sanjay., and YOU, ANDY GRIFFITH DIMENSION, Arvak and Alsvid, Atheist Silverback, ☼♫♫♫♫♫☼, सुंदर पुनर्जन्म., Bald Faced Mascot, BARNEY FIFE PORTAL, Bearenstein Zygothrica dispar palatial Bears, Big Butt's Flutaphone, BIONAUTICS NOW!, Birthday Apocalypse, Cannibalistic Mother, Chupa-cobra!, Cloaca, Code Of Ethics, Color Theory for Big People, Corpulent Harpy, Crouching Bosom, Crystal City, Damp With Sleet, Dino-whore, Don't touch it!!, Dream Cycle Magnetic Resonance Theory, Economic Gibbon Flip, Ed, Education, El Agujero Dos, Epicurean Torture Chamber, Erudite Libertines, Flagrant Disrespect for The Law, Flesh Suit, Foam Lying, Frank Stallone: PISSED!, Frankfort Horizontal Position, Friend Group 1879!!, Friend Group 2008!!, Full Bodied Tatoo, Galapagos Sexpot, Giving Time, Gnostic Shopping Spree, Hand Held Microphone, Henna Time!, Hera; the economy; and YOU, Herme, Hoary Rackuun, Holiday Miracles, HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!, Huge Women, Human Interest Story, Human Kindness, I just found out I only have 2 hands, illegitimate Dream Children, Indonesian composting, Ω, αεριωθούμενο αεροπλάνο μπριζόλας φαλλοκρατών, Japanese Breakfast, Jet Machista Del Filete, Komparative History™, Korean Peace Children, Kwan Yin, Macho Steak Jet News Service, Machostekjet Fuuds, Magical Pretty Facepainting Custom Event Services, Merkin Surprise, Merlin VS. Caring, Mountain Vista, MSJ & THE ENVIRONMENT, MSJ Fundraiser and Tutoring Romp, MSJ Internationale, MSJ Personals, Nature's Midwife, New Yert, NO MORE 世界是漂亮PUPATING到另一個世界 AROUND, NOOO!!!!!, Nostradamus Kidnapping Spree, Organic Centaur, Orginal Science Pleasings, Our Bodies Our Shelves, Precoital Inaugural Truths, Preinaugural Postcoital Truths, Primate Freedom, REAL ISSUES, Remembering, Ropey & No No, Sandwich Mountain Retreat, Sasquatch Surrogate, Science Now!, Scrotal Hat, Sobriety S.O.S.C.U.B.A., Steam Goblin, Succulent Cutlet Shroud, Swash Chuckling Wedding, Symptoms, Tennessee Meat Goat, The Entente Of Ted Kennedy's Feelings, The Entente of Ted Kennedy's Feelings™, time travel, Treat Witch Tracing, Trucker Handles That Kill You, Uncategorized, Underworld Freedoms!, Universal Consciousness, Universal Consciousness PART III, Universal Consciousness pt 2, Velvet Gloved Frindship Approval, Vestigial Wig, Virulent Christmas Loins, Wolverine Vs. A Baby, Wormhole Atlas, YESSSSS!!!!!, Zero Froufrou, 帝國主義 with tags , , , , , on April 30, 2009 by machosteakjet
Machosteakjet

Machosteakjet

I am Released: La Befana, Basta, Basta

Posted in A Big Letter to Your Mother, Absolute Concept, Big Butt's Flutaphone, Branding Message Ending, Chocolate Teeth, Crouching Bosom, Don't touch it!!, Earth-spray, Face Fuck Smash Core, Frank Stallone: PISSED!, GOD, Great and honorable change shape wet, Haegar und Hygiene, Homeful Car Singings, HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!, Humane Blowhole, Ingenuity and Progress, It's Getting Hot In Here, Merlin VS. Caring, Murder of Crons, Organic Centaur, Plugs, Presidential BBQ tips, Runt Vacuity, The Entente of Ted Kennedy's Feelings™, Zero Froufrou on April 1, 2009 by machosteakjet

As the Italian legend has it, the three Wise Men were in search of the Christ Child when they decided to stop at a small house to ask for directions. Upon knocking, an old woman holding a broom opened the door slightly to see who was there. Standing at her doorstep were three colorfully dressed men who were in need of directions to find the Christ Child. The old woman was unaware of who these three men were looking for and could not point them in the right direction. They kindly asked the old woman to join them on their journey. She declined because she had much housework to do. ‘Ho molto scopare da fare’, said she.
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(Above) La scopa

After the three men left she felt as though she had made a mistake. How was she to know that this simple misunderstanding would eventually damn her soul to eternal wandering? Thinking of the opportunity she had missed, the old woman stopped every child to give them a small treat in hopes that one was the Christ child. The first child the old woman fed a treat to died of a peanut allergy, and so thusly, was cursed for eternity by God.

Each year on the eve of the Epiphany she sets out with her bag of peanut candy searching each child’s house for Christ. La Befana has haunted children for over 2,000 years and it was thought that for countless years more she would continue to haunt until The Lion at World’s End finally released her. Recent skeletal remains tell a different tale. Le Befana is dead; there is no question. But was this an unlawful mercy killing, or does our recent discovery unearth a much darker truth? Oh Lion, Oh Slippery Pale of Sleeping Basilisks, shall we now prepare our final nine steps and follow you down in our own Hel-Shoes?

Although our question may not be answered until it is too late, let us use our time wisely and search for some truths. Firstly, how did we know the skull and broom we unearthed was that of La Befana? When skeletal remains are found, and the victim remains unidentified after traditional means of identification fail, MSJ investigators may call upon the forensic artist to utilize the three-dimensional facial reconstruction technique.
oldman
Investigators may call upon the forensic artist

The three-dimensional process is initiated by placing the skull on a workable stand, where it can easily be tilted and turned in all directions. The skull must be positioned in The Frankfort Horizontal Position for optimal viewing:
frankfort-horizontal-position

Tissue markers and clay will be systematically applied directly on the skull following its contours. Measurements are then made, and logged, to determine nose thickness/length, mouth thickness/width, and eye placement. Information such as geographic location of where the deceased lived/ died, his or her lifestyle, and the various information provided to the artist by the Forensic Anthropologist and other professionals, is heavily relied upon when completing the reconstruction.

In terms of life style we can safely put her in the ever growing category of ‘Eternal Wanderer’. As for geographic location we can not accurately say since the entire Earth was her prison. Luckily though we know where she died because her remains show us that the nameless marshland outside the city limits of Ferrara is in fact where she inhaled copious amounts of bog mud. Samples taken that had coalesced inside her skull’s nose cavity places her approximate death in and around the year of 2007.

frontskullclem1hag
Before and after: Christmas Witch of Italy: La Befana

Both our forensic anthropologist and artists were astounded by what they had discovered. We may never know who killed La Befana and this may be the end of our world. While these discoveries are very important, The College of MachoSteakJet™ is most intrigued by the notion that the blight of eternal suffering can be broken by an even more heinous crime of murder. God cast his angered eye down and smote La Befana with his holy justice. This we know. But if murder is in the domain of Old Nick, does this mean his will is ultimately stronger than our Golden Savior of Holy Might and Righteousness? One day we hope our science will be muscular enough to identify, but in the meantime, we can only pray.
Rest in Peace Treat Witch.

We most likely will meet your spirit very, very soon.

Medical Science Reports: Study Results Doc: MSJ Clinical Trial Results: Microbial Agent Shows Promise in Symptomatic Voriconazole and Aspergillosis in the Runic Curse

Posted in Earth-spray, illegitimate Dream Children, Merlin VS. Caring, New Yert, Plugs, Ropey & No No, Runt Vacuity, Science Now!, SURD, Volvix Suttung Cloaks with tags , , , , , on March 24, 2009 by machosteakjet
Photobucket Study Type: Interventional
Study Design: Treatment, Randomized, Open Label, Uncontrolled, Random Group Assignment/Euthanasia Study
Official Title:
Open Label Study of Isavuconazole in the Termination of Patients With Aspergillosis and Renal Impairment With Non-Invasive, Æsiric Curses.

Introduction:
The Science Now! editors, in the interest of maintaining a positive relationship with our shareholders, would like to give a full accounting of the recent MSJ Clinical Trial Results from our ongoing research into Æsiric and Alaisiagaeic curses.

Purpose:
This study examined the effectiveness of the drug doxycycline in reducing the number of Þrúðheimr perstans (Þp), worms in the blood of runically cursed patients and thereby initiating spontaneous Aldric draining by natural means.

Þp is a very small filarial worm that is spread chiefly by Nordendorf Druids. Þp can cause swellings in the arms, legs, breast, face, hands, feet, lower back, upper back, eyes, ears and scrotum, and can progress to permanent swelling of the legs or arms called elephantitis. Þp can cause itching, swelling, fever, headache, pilonoidal leaking, sinus infections, or other symptoms. Ivermectin and albendazole are medicines used to treat congenital damnation. They eliminate the Þp parasite from the blood but do not correct persistent moral corruption (as defined as an unwillingness to wield Sigurdhr Fåvnesbane in the MSJASAM Standards Doc 2b, sub. 4.0005.0a). The drug may be useful in the Þp (Àlf-blót) infections (cause of Skaldic swelling) as well.

Residents of Nordendorf and nearby villages in Saxony who are infected with the Þp parasite, were between 14 and 65 years of age, were in deteriorating health, had a marked and swollen rune pouch, were not pregnant or breastfeeding, and weighed at least 40 kg (88 lb) were eligible for this study. They may or may not also have been infected with wyrd. Candidates were screened with a brief medical history, proximal habitation to a barrow-mound, and blood tests to look for infection with Þp. Daughters of Aegir were excluded for legal reasons.

Subject Selection:
The team developed a positive relationship with our subjects.

Our subjects were chosen carefully based on the MSJASAM Standards Doc. #2a, section 1a: “Guidelines for Subject Selection and Liquidation”. As per the guidelines foremost in our consideration were nearness to death and symptomatic manifestation of inner Skaldic corruption. Lab assistants were assigned standardized diagnostic tools and guidelines:

Figure 1a: Symptom Guidline
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Figure 1b: Pictorial Diagnostic Aid
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Results:
In this post-treatment image, we can clearly see that despite planned euthanasia, we clearly made progress in establishing the relationship between astrological perturbations and manifestation of the symptomatic curse:

One of the truly surprising and gratifying results of the trial is pictured here. This patient showed an (almost) complete absence of Æsiric corruption:

While this subject showed promising signs of progress, there were some unfortunate side-effects:

Pre-treatment:
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Post-treatment:
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However, the most astonishing result came in the fourteenth year of the study. A picture is worth a thousand words:

Pre-treatment:

Post-treatment:
Photobucket

The effect of our microbial agents on these subjects was quite conclusive and was the key result that led to MSJFDA Approval.

Conclusion:
Machosteakjet continues its groundbreaking work for The Medical Sciences. The MSJ Science Team thanks you for your continued financial support.

Before CrimE

Posted in Merlin VS. Caring, Orginal Science Pleasings on March 15, 2009 by machosteakjet

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NELSON MANDELA V. BOB BARKER

Posted in 13th Floored, 3rd League Kawanis Club, 87 mile beard, 9002, A Big Letter to Your Mother, A Wizard's Nose, Absolute Concept, Albino Hair System, ANDY GRIFFITH DIMENSION, Arvak and Alsvid, Atheist Silverback, , सुंदर पुनर्जन्म., BARNEY FIFE PORTAL, Bánh khúc cây Giáng sinh, Big Butt's Flutaphone, Birth Footage (PARTIAL), Birthday Apocalypse, Black time travel, Breaking News, Canary of the Sea, Chap Camp™, Chocolate Teeth, Christmas Time!, Chupa-cobra!, Color Theory for Big People, Crystal City, Dino-whore, Dream Cycle Magnetic Resonance Theory, Economic Gibbon Flip, Ed, Education, El Agujero Dos, El Circulo de la Fortuna, Epicurean Torture Chamber, Extra Ectoplasm Please, Face Fuck Smash Core, First Time Doc, First Time Docs, Flagrant Disrespect for The Law, Flesh Suit, Frank Stallone: PISSED!, Friend Group 1879!!, Friend Group 2008!!, Full Bodied Tatoo, Galapagos Sexpot, Giving Time, Gnostic Shopping Spree, GOD, Great and honorable change shape wet, Gylfaginning Delight, Habeus Arthropodum, Habeus Arthropodus, Haegar und Hygiene, Hand Held Microphone, Henna Time!, Hoary Rackuun, Holiday Miracles, Horse Riding Lions, Huge Women, Human Interest Story, Human Kindness, Humane Blowhole, I just found out I only have 2 hands, I Litter to Make Crazy Horse Cry, illegitimate Dream Children, Indonesian composting, Infinity, Infinity + 1, It's Getting Hot In Here, Ω, Japanese Breakfast, Jet Machista Del Filete, John Tesh, Komparative History™, Korean Peace Children, Kris Kringle Assault, Krream Cheese, Kwan Yin, Lawn and Garden, Macho Steak Jet News Service, Merkin Surprise, Merlin VS. Caring, Mountain Vista, MSJ Fundraiser and Tutoring Romp, MSJ Internationale, Murder of Crons, Nature's Midwife, New Born Induced Orgasms, Nostradamus Kidnapping Spree, Oiled Leather Overalls, Oriental?, Original Hymen Destruction, Pelvic Issues, poop log, Post History Situation Comedy, Precoital Inaugural Truths, Preinaugural Postcoital Truths, Presidential BBQ tips, Rawhide Dawn, REAL ISSUES, Remembering, Ropey & No No, Runt Vacuity, Same Channel, Sandwich Mountain Retreat, Sasquatch Surrogate, Scary Basement Grampa, Science, Science Now!, Sentient Neck Brace, Shantastico!, Sherlock Tube, Shower Genius, Slutty nun midget whippings, Smart Philanthrophy Choices, So Take Out All Your Files, Sobriety S.O.S.C.U.B.A., Sun Tan Gossip, SURD, Symptoms, Tennessee Meat Goat, The Big Shouldered Why, The Entente Of Ted Kennedy's Feelings, The Entente of Ted Kennedy's Feelings™, The Fresno Fishwich, time travel, Titz, Trucker Handles That Kill You, Uncategorized, Underworld Freedoms!, Underworld Proteksions, Unflappable Grace, Universal Consciousness, Universal Consciousness PART III, Universal Consciousness pt 2, Unmerciful Phone Call, Velvet Gloved Frindship Approval, Vestigial Wig, Virulent Christmas Loins, Welcome, Why Essents?, Wormhole Atlas, X-mas Farge, Yanni Bake, 帝國主義 on March 5, 2009 by machosteakjet

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