Archive for the Runt Vacuity Category

RUPERT H. WHELDON ILLUSTRATED

Posted in 'n tasty, Advancements in Plumbing, Bald Faced Mascot, Big Butt's Flutaphone, Canary of the Sea, Cannibalistic Mother, Celery skin graft, Cloaca, Don't touch it!!, Earth-spray, Extra Ectoplasm Please, Flesh Suit, Fuud, Governance, Hamburger Sexy Mandolin Player Man, Humane Blowhole, Japanese Breakfast, Kris Kringle Assault, Krream Cheese, Machostekjet Fuuds, Meat Hero, Nature's Midwife, Our Bodies Our Shelves, Pelvic Issues, poop log, Presidential BBQ tips, Rawhide Dawn, Runt Vacuity, Sandwich Mountain Retreat, Shark Pile!, Snacks, Succulent Cutlet Shroud, Tender Fire, Tennessee Meat Goat, The Fresno Fishwich, Vampiric Pizza Hut with tags on December 4, 2009 by machosteakjet



How to eat sensually.

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Posted in 1 to go, 2 borks down, 25331936, 25333386, 28 Foot Dude, and YOU, ☼♫♫♫♫♫☼, Betwix thine sheets hath done mine office, Big Butt's Flutaphone, BIONAUTICS NOW!, Candlecobra, Catain Ron 2, Flagrant Disrespect for The Law, Frank Stallone: PISSED!, French Piss, Friend Group 1879!!, Full Bodied Tatoo, Henna Time!, Hera; the economy; and YOU, Holiday Miracles, Human Interest Story, Humane Blowhole, IMMINENT DOOM, Infinity, Infinity + 1, Ingenuity and Progress, John Major Jenkins, John Tesh, Komparative History™, Korean Peace Children, Lemony Fredge, Meet me at the Sex Couch!, MORTAL KROMBAG, MSJ Personals, Murder Capitol of the worle, Murder of Crons, NATIVE AMERICAN RIVER CAT SHOW, NO MORE FUCKING AROUND, NO MORE 世界是漂亮PUPATING到另一個世界 AROUND, NOOO!!!!!, Oh Mexico!, Ooooo skimpy!, Pelvic Issues, penis shaped island, Plugs, Post History Situation Comedy, Relativist family reunion, Ropey & No No, Runt Vacuity, Sandwich Mountain Retreat, Scary Basement Grampa, Science, Science Now!, Scrotal Hat, Shantastico!, Sherlock Tube, Shower Genius, Solar Knowledge Science Time!, Steam Goblin, Succulent Cutlet Shroud, Sun Tan Gossip, The Entente of Ted Kennedy's Feelings™, The Fresno Fishwich, The Safe Word: Snug Fit, Unmerciful Phone Call, Vampiric Pizza Hut, Velvet Gloved Frindship Approval, X-mas Farge, Yanni Bake, Zero Froufrou on September 16, 2009 by machosteakjet

Raiden311

A True Story:How MachoSteakJett Saved My Life And How It Could Save Yours Too

Posted in Absolute Concept, ANDY GRIFFITH DIMENSION, , ☼♫♫♫♫♫☼, सुंदर पुनर्जन्म., BIONAUTICS NOW!, Birth Footage (PARTIAL), C.S.O.H.M.S., Celery skin graft, Cloaca, CRISPERS!™, Damp With Sleet, Derailed Mountaineering Career, Fire Calliope, Gnostic Shopping Spree, GOD, Hera, Humane Blowhole, Infinity + 1, Kwan Yin, Lawn and Garden, MSJ Fundraiser and Tutoring Romp, MSJ Interdimensional Diversification Services, NATIVE AMERICAN RIVER CAT SHOW, Nostradamus Kidnapping Spree, Organic Centaur, Post History Situation Comedy, Ropey & No No, Runt Vacuity, Science Now!, Sherlock Tube, Shower Genius, Swash Chuckling Wedding, Universal Consciousness pt 2, Wormhole Atlas, 帝國主義 on June 5, 2009 by machosteakjet

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I am Released: La Befana, Basta, Basta

Posted in A Big Letter to Your Mother, Absolute Concept, Big Butt's Flutaphone, Branding Message Ending, Chocolate Teeth, Crouching Bosom, Don't touch it!!, Earth-spray, Face Fuck Smash Core, Frank Stallone: PISSED!, GOD, Great and honorable change shape wet, Haegar und Hygiene, Homeful Car Singings, HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!, Humane Blowhole, Ingenuity and Progress, It's Getting Hot In Here, Merlin VS. Caring, Murder of Crons, Organic Centaur, Plugs, Presidential BBQ tips, Runt Vacuity, The Entente of Ted Kennedy's Feelings™, Zero Froufrou on April 1, 2009 by machosteakjet

As the Italian legend has it, the three Wise Men were in search of the Christ Child when they decided to stop at a small house to ask for directions. Upon knocking, an old woman holding a broom opened the door slightly to see who was there. Standing at her doorstep were three colorfully dressed men who were in need of directions to find the Christ Child. The old woman was unaware of who these three men were looking for and could not point them in the right direction. They kindly asked the old woman to join them on their journey. She declined because she had much housework to do. ‘Ho molto scopare da fare’, said she.
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(Above) La scopa

After the three men left she felt as though she had made a mistake. How was she to know that this simple misunderstanding would eventually damn her soul to eternal wandering? Thinking of the opportunity she had missed, the old woman stopped every child to give them a small treat in hopes that one was the Christ child. The first child the old woman fed a treat to died of a peanut allergy, and so thusly, was cursed for eternity by God.

Each year on the eve of the Epiphany she sets out with her bag of peanut candy searching each child’s house for Christ. La Befana has haunted children for over 2,000 years and it was thought that for countless years more she would continue to haunt until The Lion at World’s End finally released her. Recent skeletal remains tell a different tale. Le Befana is dead; there is no question. But was this an unlawful mercy killing, or does our recent discovery unearth a much darker truth? Oh Lion, Oh Slippery Pale of Sleeping Basilisks, shall we now prepare our final nine steps and follow you down in our own Hel-Shoes?

Although our question may not be answered until it is too late, let us use our time wisely and search for some truths. Firstly, how did we know the skull and broom we unearthed was that of La Befana? When skeletal remains are found, and the victim remains unidentified after traditional means of identification fail, MSJ investigators may call upon the forensic artist to utilize the three-dimensional facial reconstruction technique.
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Investigators may call upon the forensic artist

The three-dimensional process is initiated by placing the skull on a workable stand, where it can easily be tilted and turned in all directions. The skull must be positioned in The Frankfort Horizontal Position for optimal viewing:
frankfort-horizontal-position

Tissue markers and clay will be systematically applied directly on the skull following its contours. Measurements are then made, and logged, to determine nose thickness/length, mouth thickness/width, and eye placement. Information such as geographic location of where the deceased lived/ died, his or her lifestyle, and the various information provided to the artist by the Forensic Anthropologist and other professionals, is heavily relied upon when completing the reconstruction.

In terms of life style we can safely put her in the ever growing category of ‘Eternal Wanderer’. As for geographic location we can not accurately say since the entire Earth was her prison. Luckily though we know where she died because her remains show us that the nameless marshland outside the city limits of Ferrara is in fact where she inhaled copious amounts of bog mud. Samples taken that had coalesced inside her skull’s nose cavity places her approximate death in and around the year of 2007.

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Before and after: Christmas Witch of Italy: La Befana

Both our forensic anthropologist and artists were astounded by what they had discovered. We may never know who killed La Befana and this may be the end of our world. While these discoveries are very important, The College of MachoSteakJet™ is most intrigued by the notion that the blight of eternal suffering can be broken by an even more heinous crime of murder. God cast his angered eye down and smote La Befana with his holy justice. This we know. But if murder is in the domain of Old Nick, does this mean his will is ultimately stronger than our Golden Savior of Holy Might and Righteousness? One day we hope our science will be muscular enough to identify, but in the meantime, we can only pray.
Rest in Peace Treat Witch.

We most likely will meet your spirit very, very soon.

Medical Science Reports: Study Results Doc: MSJ Clinical Trial Results: Microbial Agent Shows Promise in Symptomatic Voriconazole and Aspergillosis in the Runic Curse

Posted in Earth-spray, illegitimate Dream Children, Merlin VS. Caring, New Yert, Plugs, Ropey & No No, Runt Vacuity, Science Now!, SURD, Volvix Suttung Cloaks with tags , , , , , on March 24, 2009 by machosteakjet
Photobucket Study Type: Interventional
Study Design: Treatment, Randomized, Open Label, Uncontrolled, Random Group Assignment/Euthanasia Study
Official Title:
Open Label Study of Isavuconazole in the Termination of Patients With Aspergillosis and Renal Impairment With Non-Invasive, Æsiric Curses.

Introduction:
The Science Now! editors, in the interest of maintaining a positive relationship with our shareholders, would like to give a full accounting of the recent MSJ Clinical Trial Results from our ongoing research into Æsiric and Alaisiagaeic curses.

Purpose:
This study examined the effectiveness of the drug doxycycline in reducing the number of Þrúðheimr perstans (Þp), worms in the blood of runically cursed patients and thereby initiating spontaneous Aldric draining by natural means.

Þp is a very small filarial worm that is spread chiefly by Nordendorf Druids. Þp can cause swellings in the arms, legs, breast, face, hands, feet, lower back, upper back, eyes, ears and scrotum, and can progress to permanent swelling of the legs or arms called elephantitis. Þp can cause itching, swelling, fever, headache, pilonoidal leaking, sinus infections, or other symptoms. Ivermectin and albendazole are medicines used to treat congenital damnation. They eliminate the Þp parasite from the blood but do not correct persistent moral corruption (as defined as an unwillingness to wield Sigurdhr Fåvnesbane in the MSJASAM Standards Doc 2b, sub. 4.0005.0a). The drug may be useful in the Þp (Àlf-blót) infections (cause of Skaldic swelling) as well.

Residents of Nordendorf and nearby villages in Saxony who are infected with the Þp parasite, were between 14 and 65 years of age, were in deteriorating health, had a marked and swollen rune pouch, were not pregnant or breastfeeding, and weighed at least 40 kg (88 lb) were eligible for this study. They may or may not also have been infected with wyrd. Candidates were screened with a brief medical history, proximal habitation to a barrow-mound, and blood tests to look for infection with Þp. Daughters of Aegir were excluded for legal reasons.

Subject Selection:
The team developed a positive relationship with our subjects.

Our subjects were chosen carefully based on the MSJASAM Standards Doc. #2a, section 1a: “Guidelines for Subject Selection and Liquidation”. As per the guidelines foremost in our consideration were nearness to death and symptomatic manifestation of inner Skaldic corruption. Lab assistants were assigned standardized diagnostic tools and guidelines:

Figure 1a: Symptom Guidline
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Figure 1b: Pictorial Diagnostic Aid
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Results:
In this post-treatment image, we can clearly see that despite planned euthanasia, we clearly made progress in establishing the relationship between astrological perturbations and manifestation of the symptomatic curse:

One of the truly surprising and gratifying results of the trial is pictured here. This patient showed an (almost) complete absence of Æsiric corruption:

While this subject showed promising signs of progress, there were some unfortunate side-effects:

Pre-treatment:
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Post-treatment:
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However, the most astonishing result came in the fourteenth year of the study. A picture is worth a thousand words:

Pre-treatment:

Post-treatment:
Photobucket

The effect of our microbial agents on these subjects was quite conclusive and was the key result that led to MSJFDA Approval.

Conclusion:
Machosteakjet continues its groundbreaking work for The Medical Sciences. The MSJ Science Team thanks you for your continued financial support.

Macho Steak Jet Personals!

Posted in and YOU, Bald Faced Mascot, Damp With Sleet, Macho Steak Jet News Service, MSJ Personals, Nature's Midwife, poop log, Ropey & No No, Runt Vacuity on March 23, 2009 by machosteakjet

Gender: Fellow!
Current Status: Single
Looking for: Romance, Friendship, Ownership
Body Type: Unexpectedly Bipedal
Eyes: Brown, Seemingly Sentient
Height: 18″ at the withers
Hair: All Over
Age: 24 months
Seeks: Female for Siring, Leg for Humping

handsomesleepyhead060304

I’m just another average snowflake. I live a life of adventure, taking risks, making mistakes, learning from mistakes. I don’t live a planned life; I go out of my way to seize opportunity. I’m passionate about some of the things I do. I’m a sentient, bipedal dog. I carry too much baggage. I have too much debt. I eat lamb lung. I chase squirrels. I dream about chasing squirrels. If I ever get one of those mother-fucking squirrels I’m going to shake it really hard. I cannot read minds, I assume others cannot either so I speak in straight forward conversations. I cannot really speak, only make weird sort of wookie-ish calls like that dog on youTube that says “I Love You”. But he walks on four legs. I walk on two. In the picture? That’s an enormous lump of sugar on my head. And I’m holding hands with my ex-girlfriend. Yeah, she’s a human. I appreciate history. My biography would be a collection of short stories. I appreciate honesty. Autumn is my favorite season, bright colors, brisk air, sweaters. I don’t define my experiences my experiences define me. I am fun loving and goofy, yet I have a degree and career and I am responsible. I love silly jokes and think that smiling, laughing, teasing, playing fetch, scratching and sniffing are all important aspects to a relationship. So is humping legs, did I mention that? I don’t place great importance on money, except to get what you need to live. I don’t even have pockets. Life is more important and living life to the fullest is my goal. Money, power and status (in my book) has nothing to do with a full life! I like good kibble and good snausages. I love smoked pig ear. Sometimes I eat grass or my own poop (I know, I shouldn’t!!) I always vote, I write lots of letters, I belong to organizations. I volunteer, but not enough. I have a dramatically shorter life expectancy than humans, so hurry up!

NELSON MANDELA V. BOB BARKER

Posted in 13th Floored, 3rd League Kawanis Club, 87 mile beard, 9002, A Big Letter to Your Mother, A Wizard's Nose, Absolute Concept, Albino Hair System, ANDY GRIFFITH DIMENSION, Arvak and Alsvid, Atheist Silverback, , सुंदर पुनर्जन्म., BARNEY FIFE PORTAL, Bánh khúc cây Giáng sinh, Big Butt's Flutaphone, Birth Footage (PARTIAL), Birthday Apocalypse, Black time travel, Breaking News, Canary of the Sea, Chap Camp™, Chocolate Teeth, Christmas Time!, Chupa-cobra!, Color Theory for Big People, Crystal City, Dino-whore, Dream Cycle Magnetic Resonance Theory, Economic Gibbon Flip, Ed, Education, El Agujero Dos, El Circulo de la Fortuna, Epicurean Torture Chamber, Extra Ectoplasm Please, Face Fuck Smash Core, First Time Doc, First Time Docs, Flagrant Disrespect for The Law, Flesh Suit, Frank Stallone: PISSED!, Friend Group 1879!!, Friend Group 2008!!, Full Bodied Tatoo, Galapagos Sexpot, Giving Time, Gnostic Shopping Spree, GOD, Great and honorable change shape wet, Gylfaginning Delight, Habeus Arthropodum, Habeus Arthropodus, Haegar und Hygiene, Hand Held Microphone, Henna Time!, Hoary Rackuun, Holiday Miracles, Horse Riding Lions, Huge Women, Human Interest Story, Human Kindness, Humane Blowhole, I just found out I only have 2 hands, I Litter to Make Crazy Horse Cry, illegitimate Dream Children, Indonesian composting, Infinity, Infinity + 1, It's Getting Hot In Here, Ω, Japanese Breakfast, Jet Machista Del Filete, John Tesh, Komparative History™, Korean Peace Children, Kris Kringle Assault, Krream Cheese, Kwan Yin, Lawn and Garden, Macho Steak Jet News Service, Merkin Surprise, Merlin VS. Caring, Mountain Vista, MSJ Fundraiser and Tutoring Romp, MSJ Internationale, Murder of Crons, Nature's Midwife, New Born Induced Orgasms, Nostradamus Kidnapping Spree, Oiled Leather Overalls, Oriental?, Original Hymen Destruction, Pelvic Issues, poop log, Post History Situation Comedy, Precoital Inaugural Truths, Preinaugural Postcoital Truths, Presidential BBQ tips, Rawhide Dawn, REAL ISSUES, Remembering, Ropey & No No, Runt Vacuity, Same Channel, Sandwich Mountain Retreat, Sasquatch Surrogate, Scary Basement Grampa, Science, Science Now!, Sentient Neck Brace, Shantastico!, Sherlock Tube, Shower Genius, Slutty nun midget whippings, Smart Philanthrophy Choices, So Take Out All Your Files, Sobriety S.O.S.C.U.B.A., Sun Tan Gossip, SURD, Symptoms, Tennessee Meat Goat, The Big Shouldered Why, The Entente Of Ted Kennedy's Feelings, The Entente of Ted Kennedy's Feelings™, The Fresno Fishwich, time travel, Titz, Trucker Handles That Kill You, Uncategorized, Underworld Freedoms!, Underworld Proteksions, Unflappable Grace, Universal Consciousness, Universal Consciousness PART III, Universal Consciousness pt 2, Unmerciful Phone Call, Velvet Gloved Frindship Approval, Vestigial Wig, Virulent Christmas Loins, Welcome, Why Essents?, Wormhole Atlas, X-mas Farge, Yanni Bake, 帝國主義 on March 5, 2009 by machosteakjet

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