Archive for the Sun Tan Gossip Category

Message received! Bob Dole phones in from his secret base

Posted in 3rd League Kawanis Club, Absolute Concept, Betwix thine sheets hath done mine office, Breaking News, Dino-whore, Hamburger Sexy Mandolin Player Man, Hand Held Microphone, HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!, Human Interest Story, Merlin VS. Caring, MSJ & THE ENVIRONMENT, NO MORE 世界是漂亮PUPATING到另一個世界 AROUND, Primate Freedom, Science Now!, Sun Tan Gossip, The Entente of Ted Kennedy's Feelings™, Unflappable Grace, Zero Froufrou with tags , , , , , , on November 5, 2010 by machosteakjet

I’m just a regular American guy. I’ve got a truck, smoke a little too much, maybe missing a few toes. Nothing too unusual. At my 9-to-5 I’ve gotten by for years on my old Two Wolf Moon T-Shirt. “Bring the loader over to bay 4” they’d say, and I’d get over there and get it done, my two wolves classy enough for work but also letting the passing ladies know I’m a raging torrent of untamed American spirit yearning to breath free, preferably naked. I’m no Don Juan, but I did ok — mostly with Janice from Accounting, until she got diptheria.

Most of my income went to the good life, brewed high in the Rockies if you know what I mean. But one day I decided to take some hard earned dough and upgrade. Bigtime. When I got my Three Wolf Moon t-shirt, I knew my life had changed, but I didn’t know how much.

When I put it on, the effect was immediate. 33% more wolf was almost too much to handle. It was like wearing 1500 ccs of chaps on a 1800 cc motorcycle. The vibrations alone were almost enough to throw me off my stride. And the fact that the third wolf faces backwards while howling, demonstrating individuality at the same time as unity of purpose and nobility of spirit, was a metaphor so powerful Roy, the guy who steals my mail, practically took his own foot off with his weed whacker the moment he saw me.

Jesus.

After suturing him up with some spare baling twine, I trotted down to the hardware store to stock up. Bad idea. The rippling of my well endowed man curves apparently set the wolves to almost a hypnotic shimmering, trapped and yet freed under the opalescent moon they eternally worship and yet deny. Some guy took one look at me and backed right into a concrete planter. I almost stopped to see if he was ok, but then I remembered that wolves don’t stop for anybody, particularly when howling.

These days, I’m making $1.15 more an hour, and I keep getting free cable. With the savings, I’m thinking …maybe…just maybe, it’ll be Four Wolf Time soon. But for those of you who have put in your time and training on the One and Two wolf shirts, I highly recommend investing in an upgrade. You’ll never truly soar free without one.

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High Tech Proof Shows Frank Asch Leads To Asian Supremacism

Posted in Great and honorable change shape wet, Oh Mexico!, Science Now!, Sun Tan Gossip, Vampiric Pizza Hut, Why Essents? on January 6, 2010 by machosteakjet

Recent evidence uncovered by Macho Steak Jet Highest Tech Satchmo Labs™ strongly suggests that the poetry of children’s book author Frank Asch leads to an Asian Supremacist agenda. The graphic below shows an incontrovertible link from Asch’s poem Play to a sophisticated east Asian Supremacist sleeper cell:

A Macho Steak Jet HTSL™ administrator who commented on condition of anonymity said: “i’d shoot a puppy over the boarder into Xanadu to send a message to the hot goblins that I won’t sit around and let them live behind my mirror to watch me undress and shampoo my pink pony tail. always bet on black.” Unchecked, he warned, this type of undermining could lead to a dangerous future.

Posted in 1 to go, 2 borks down, 25331936, 25333386, 28 Foot Dude, and YOU, ☼♫♫♫♫♫☼, Betwix thine sheets hath done mine office, Big Butt's Flutaphone, BIONAUTICS NOW!, Candlecobra, Catain Ron 2, Flagrant Disrespect for The Law, Frank Stallone: PISSED!, French Piss, Friend Group 1879!!, Full Bodied Tatoo, Henna Time!, Hera; the economy; and YOU, Holiday Miracles, Human Interest Story, Humane Blowhole, IMMINENT DOOM, Infinity, Infinity + 1, Ingenuity and Progress, John Major Jenkins, John Tesh, Komparative History™, Korean Peace Children, Lemony Fredge, Meet me at the Sex Couch!, MORTAL KROMBAG, MSJ Personals, Murder Capitol of the worle, Murder of Crons, NATIVE AMERICAN RIVER CAT SHOW, NO MORE FUCKING AROUND, NO MORE 世界是漂亮PUPATING到另一個世界 AROUND, NOOO!!!!!, Oh Mexico!, Ooooo skimpy!, Pelvic Issues, penis shaped island, Plugs, Post History Situation Comedy, Relativist family reunion, Ropey & No No, Runt Vacuity, Sandwich Mountain Retreat, Scary Basement Grampa, Science, Science Now!, Scrotal Hat, Shantastico!, Sherlock Tube, Shower Genius, Solar Knowledge Science Time!, Steam Goblin, Succulent Cutlet Shroud, Sun Tan Gossip, The Entente of Ted Kennedy's Feelings™, The Fresno Fishwich, The Safe Word: Snug Fit, Unmerciful Phone Call, Vampiric Pizza Hut, Velvet Gloved Frindship Approval, X-mas Farge, Yanni Bake, Zero Froufrou on September 16, 2009 by machosteakjet

Raiden311

EXCLUSIVE RESPONSE EXCERPTS from Machosteakjet LLC. Bi-Annualle Official Response to “Semi-Annual MSJ Meeting Minutes” Meeting Minutes

Posted in and Sanjay Samuel, and YOU, Canary of the Sea, Damp With Sleet, Derailed Mountaineering Career, Filthy Water People, Hoary Rackuun, Sun Tan Gossip with tags , , on April 2, 2009 by machosteakjet

NELSON MANDELA V. BOB BARKER

Posted in 13th Floored, 3rd League Kawanis Club, 87 mile beard, 9002, A Big Letter to Your Mother, A Wizard's Nose, Absolute Concept, Albino Hair System, ANDY GRIFFITH DIMENSION, Arvak and Alsvid, Atheist Silverback, , सुंदर पुनर्जन्म., BARNEY FIFE PORTAL, Bánh khúc cây Giáng sinh, Big Butt's Flutaphone, Birth Footage (PARTIAL), Birthday Apocalypse, Black time travel, Breaking News, Canary of the Sea, Chap Camp™, Chocolate Teeth, Christmas Time!, Chupa-cobra!, Color Theory for Big People, Crystal City, Dino-whore, Dream Cycle Magnetic Resonance Theory, Economic Gibbon Flip, Ed, Education, El Agujero Dos, El Circulo de la Fortuna, Epicurean Torture Chamber, Extra Ectoplasm Please, Face Fuck Smash Core, First Time Doc, First Time Docs, Flagrant Disrespect for The Law, Flesh Suit, Frank Stallone: PISSED!, Friend Group 1879!!, Friend Group 2008!!, Full Bodied Tatoo, Galapagos Sexpot, Giving Time, Gnostic Shopping Spree, GOD, Great and honorable change shape wet, Gylfaginning Delight, Habeus Arthropodum, Habeus Arthropodus, Haegar und Hygiene, Hand Held Microphone, Henna Time!, Hoary Rackuun, Holiday Miracles, Horse Riding Lions, Huge Women, Human Interest Story, Human Kindness, Humane Blowhole, I just found out I only have 2 hands, I Litter to Make Crazy Horse Cry, illegitimate Dream Children, Indonesian composting, Infinity, Infinity + 1, It's Getting Hot In Here, Ω, Japanese Breakfast, Jet Machista Del Filete, John Tesh, Komparative History™, Korean Peace Children, Kris Kringle Assault, Krream Cheese, Kwan Yin, Lawn and Garden, Macho Steak Jet News Service, Merkin Surprise, Merlin VS. Caring, Mountain Vista, MSJ Fundraiser and Tutoring Romp, MSJ Internationale, Murder of Crons, Nature's Midwife, New Born Induced Orgasms, Nostradamus Kidnapping Spree, Oiled Leather Overalls, Oriental?, Original Hymen Destruction, Pelvic Issues, poop log, Post History Situation Comedy, Precoital Inaugural Truths, Preinaugural Postcoital Truths, Presidential BBQ tips, Rawhide Dawn, REAL ISSUES, Remembering, Ropey & No No, Runt Vacuity, Same Channel, Sandwich Mountain Retreat, Sasquatch Surrogate, Scary Basement Grampa, Science, Science Now!, Sentient Neck Brace, Shantastico!, Sherlock Tube, Shower Genius, Slutty nun midget whippings, Smart Philanthrophy Choices, So Take Out All Your Files, Sobriety S.O.S.C.U.B.A., Sun Tan Gossip, SURD, Symptoms, Tennessee Meat Goat, The Big Shouldered Why, The Entente Of Ted Kennedy's Feelings, The Entente of Ted Kennedy's Feelings™, The Fresno Fishwich, time travel, Titz, Trucker Handles That Kill You, Uncategorized, Underworld Freedoms!, Underworld Proteksions, Unflappable Grace, Universal Consciousness, Universal Consciousness PART III, Universal Consciousness pt 2, Unmerciful Phone Call, Velvet Gloved Frindship Approval, Vestigial Wig, Virulent Christmas Loins, Welcome, Why Essents?, Wormhole Atlas, X-mas Farge, Yanni Bake, 帝國主義 on March 5, 2009 by machosteakjet

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MachoSteakJet Science Now! Philanthropy Case #9LO04Q

Posted in Absolute Concept, सुंदर पुनर्जन्म., Color Theory for Big People, Gnostic Shopping Spree, Great and honorable change shape wet, Horse Riding Lions, Human Interest Story, I just found out I only have 2 hands, It's Getting Hot In Here, Nature's Midwife, Nostradamus Kidnapping Spree, Science Now!, Sherlock Tube, Shower Genius, So Take Out All Your Files, Sun Tan Gossip, 帝國主義 on January 7, 2009 by machosteakjet

water1

My half brother always laughed at me using the voice of the village’s enslaved cormorants. Always mocking, always superior. Yes I have a mouth where he does not but what does that compare to his awesome power? My father rained on my mother and then I was born. But it was Kauhuhu’s steel drums that made her dance until Water fell from between her legs.

Growing up, I discovered my love and my gift. Water, was always the better and soon became the greatest of our era. His powers were legendary. Women loved him. The Vikings called him Vann. The Romans called him Aqua. The Chinese called him 偉大和光榮的變化形狀的濕.

I needed distance, to strike out on my own but it seemed wherever I travelled, Kauhuhu’s sensuous rhythms followed me; called me back. What was there to do?

But now that Macho Steak Jet™ has imprisoned my cock nibbling brother in the “Orkid the Orca” tank at Sea World, he spends his days being defecated in by those poor captured animals. And to top it all off, I’ve learned a lot about myself! It’s OK to be who you are!

Thanks to you Macho Steak Jet™ for sponsoring me!