Archive for the Symptoms Category

AMAZING!

Posted in A Big Letter to Your Mother, Advancements in Plumbing, Birth Footage (PARTIAL), Black time travel, Branding Message Ending, Crusteasian Amphibious Evolvement, Damp With Sleet, Dirty Serpent Rope, First Time Docs, French Piss, Full Bodied Tatoo, Henna Time!, Hera; the economy; and YOU, Hoary Rackuun, Ingenuity and Progress, αεριωθούμενο αεροπλάνο μπριζόλας φαλλοκρατών, Lawn and Garden, Mayan Codex Photo Album, MSJ & THE ENVIRONMENT, Nature's Midwife, New Yert, Orginal Science Pleasings, poop log, Post History Situation Comedy, Scary Basement Grampa, Shantastico!, Symptoms, THE ANTHROPOLOGISTS, the Authority on the Mayan Codexes, Universal Consciousness, Universal Consciousness pt 2, Vampiric Pizza Hut, Zero Froufrou with tags , , , on December 8, 2009 by machosteakjet

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한국어 당신의 어머니는 나의 개를 먹고 있다

Posted in 'n tasty, 13th Floored, 28 Foot Dude, 87 mile beard, A Big Letter to Your Mother, A Wizard's Nose, Absolute Concept, Absolute Zero Froufrou, Albino Hair System, and Sanjay Samuel, and Sanjay., and YOU, ANDY GRIFFITH DIMENSION, Arvak and Alsvid, Atheist Silverback, ☼♫♫♫♫♫☼, सुंदर पुनर्जन्म., Bald Faced Mascot, BARNEY FIFE PORTAL, Bearenstein Zygothrica dispar palatial Bears, Big Butt's Flutaphone, BIONAUTICS NOW!, Birthday Apocalypse, Cannibalistic Mother, Chupa-cobra!, Cloaca, Code Of Ethics, Color Theory for Big People, Corpulent Harpy, Crouching Bosom, Crystal City, Damp With Sleet, Dino-whore, Don't touch it!!, Dream Cycle Magnetic Resonance Theory, Economic Gibbon Flip, Ed, Education, El Agujero Dos, Epicurean Torture Chamber, Erudite Libertines, Flagrant Disrespect for The Law, Flesh Suit, Foam Lying, Frank Stallone: PISSED!, Frankfort Horizontal Position, Friend Group 1879!!, Friend Group 2008!!, Full Bodied Tatoo, Galapagos Sexpot, Giving Time, Gnostic Shopping Spree, Hand Held Microphone, Henna Time!, Hera; the economy; and YOU, Herme, Hoary Rackuun, Holiday Miracles, HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!, Huge Women, Human Interest Story, Human Kindness, I just found out I only have 2 hands, illegitimate Dream Children, Indonesian composting, Ω, αεριωθούμενο αεροπλάνο μπριζόλας φαλλοκρατών, Japanese Breakfast, Jet Machista Del Filete, Komparative History™, Korean Peace Children, Kwan Yin, Macho Steak Jet News Service, Machostekjet Fuuds, Magical Pretty Facepainting Custom Event Services, Merkin Surprise, Merlin VS. Caring, Mountain Vista, MSJ & THE ENVIRONMENT, MSJ Fundraiser and Tutoring Romp, MSJ Internationale, MSJ Personals, Nature's Midwife, New Yert, NO MORE 世界是漂亮PUPATING到另一個世界 AROUND, NOOO!!!!!, Nostradamus Kidnapping Spree, Organic Centaur, Orginal Science Pleasings, Our Bodies Our Shelves, Precoital Inaugural Truths, Preinaugural Postcoital Truths, Primate Freedom, REAL ISSUES, Remembering, Ropey & No No, Sandwich Mountain Retreat, Sasquatch Surrogate, Science Now!, Scrotal Hat, Sobriety S.O.S.C.U.B.A., Steam Goblin, Succulent Cutlet Shroud, Swash Chuckling Wedding, Symptoms, Tennessee Meat Goat, The Entente Of Ted Kennedy's Feelings, The Entente of Ted Kennedy's Feelings™, time travel, Treat Witch Tracing, Trucker Handles That Kill You, Uncategorized, Underworld Freedoms!, Universal Consciousness, Universal Consciousness PART III, Universal Consciousness pt 2, Velvet Gloved Frindship Approval, Vestigial Wig, Virulent Christmas Loins, Wolverine Vs. A Baby, Wormhole Atlas, YESSSSS!!!!!, Zero Froufrou, 帝國主義 with tags , , , , , on April 30, 2009 by machosteakjet
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NELSON MANDELA V. BOB BARKER

Posted in 13th Floored, 3rd League Kawanis Club, 87 mile beard, 9002, A Big Letter to Your Mother, A Wizard's Nose, Absolute Concept, Albino Hair System, ANDY GRIFFITH DIMENSION, Arvak and Alsvid, Atheist Silverback, , सुंदर पुनर्जन्म., BARNEY FIFE PORTAL, Bánh khúc cây Giáng sinh, Big Butt's Flutaphone, Birth Footage (PARTIAL), Birthday Apocalypse, Black time travel, Breaking News, Canary of the Sea, Chap Camp™, Chocolate Teeth, Christmas Time!, Chupa-cobra!, Color Theory for Big People, Crystal City, Dino-whore, Dream Cycle Magnetic Resonance Theory, Economic Gibbon Flip, Ed, Education, El Agujero Dos, El Circulo de la Fortuna, Epicurean Torture Chamber, Extra Ectoplasm Please, Face Fuck Smash Core, First Time Doc, First Time Docs, Flagrant Disrespect for The Law, Flesh Suit, Frank Stallone: PISSED!, Friend Group 1879!!, Friend Group 2008!!, Full Bodied Tatoo, Galapagos Sexpot, Giving Time, Gnostic Shopping Spree, GOD, Great and honorable change shape wet, Gylfaginning Delight, Habeus Arthropodum, Habeus Arthropodus, Haegar und Hygiene, Hand Held Microphone, Henna Time!, Hoary Rackuun, Holiday Miracles, Horse Riding Lions, Huge Women, Human Interest Story, Human Kindness, Humane Blowhole, I just found out I only have 2 hands, I Litter to Make Crazy Horse Cry, illegitimate Dream Children, Indonesian composting, Infinity, Infinity + 1, It's Getting Hot In Here, Ω, Japanese Breakfast, Jet Machista Del Filete, John Tesh, Komparative History™, Korean Peace Children, Kris Kringle Assault, Krream Cheese, Kwan Yin, Lawn and Garden, Macho Steak Jet News Service, Merkin Surprise, Merlin VS. Caring, Mountain Vista, MSJ Fundraiser and Tutoring Romp, MSJ Internationale, Murder of Crons, Nature's Midwife, New Born Induced Orgasms, Nostradamus Kidnapping Spree, Oiled Leather Overalls, Oriental?, Original Hymen Destruction, Pelvic Issues, poop log, Post History Situation Comedy, Precoital Inaugural Truths, Preinaugural Postcoital Truths, Presidential BBQ tips, Rawhide Dawn, REAL ISSUES, Remembering, Ropey & No No, Runt Vacuity, Same Channel, Sandwich Mountain Retreat, Sasquatch Surrogate, Scary Basement Grampa, Science, Science Now!, Sentient Neck Brace, Shantastico!, Sherlock Tube, Shower Genius, Slutty nun midget whippings, Smart Philanthrophy Choices, So Take Out All Your Files, Sobriety S.O.S.C.U.B.A., Sun Tan Gossip, SURD, Symptoms, Tennessee Meat Goat, The Big Shouldered Why, The Entente Of Ted Kennedy's Feelings, The Entente of Ted Kennedy's Feelings™, The Fresno Fishwich, time travel, Titz, Trucker Handles That Kill You, Uncategorized, Underworld Freedoms!, Underworld Proteksions, Unflappable Grace, Universal Consciousness, Universal Consciousness PART III, Universal Consciousness pt 2, Unmerciful Phone Call, Velvet Gloved Frindship Approval, Vestigial Wig, Virulent Christmas Loins, Welcome, Why Essents?, Wormhole Atlas, X-mas Farge, Yanni Bake, 帝國主義 on March 5, 2009 by machosteakjet

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MACHOSTEAKJET™ BREAKING NEWS! RARE DINOSAUR DIARRHEA FOUND IN AREA RESTAURANT

Posted in Big Butt's Flutaphone, Birth Footage (PARTIAL), Breaking News, Education, Great and honorable change shape wet, It's Getting Hot In Here, Macho Steak Jet News Service, Oriental?, poop log, REAL ISSUES, Science, Science Now!, Sherlock Tube, Symptoms, Unflappable Grace, Universal Consciousness pt 2 with tags , , , , , , , on January 8, 2009 by machosteakjet

RARE DINOSAUR DIARRHEA FOUND IN AREA RESTAURANT
Thursday, January 8th, 2009

(Chicago, USA)

For years scientists have known about “coprolites” or fossilized dinosaur droppings but for the first time, evidence of severe dinosaur dyspepsia has been found on a shelf at the Bennigan’s on Michigan Avenue.

Scientists have found the first example of dinosaur diarrhea at a downtown Chicago restaurant.

Scientists have found the first example of dinosaur diarrhea at a downtown Chicago restaurant.

“この恐竜を食べた白い城では、” said paleontologist Sluck Chong “明確な証拠だと思います。” Dr. Chong, along with gastroenterologist Catapult Destroyer, is credited with the discovery.

It seems the “diarrhealite” has been serving for many years as decor in the downtown Chicago restaurant because of its nuanced and alluring colors and textures. Because the sample had been removed from its original locality, it is unclear what kind of dinosaur it is from. Still, experts are calling this a significant find and know for certain the dinosaur had eaten corn in the 24 hours before depositing.

“This is the first indication we have that being a dinosaur wasn’t 100% completely awesome all the time, you know, totally gobbling cavewomen with your enormous jaws and no arms.” corroborated Dr. Destroyer.

PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT FOR THE CHILDREN

Posted in A Big Letter to Your Mother, Canary of the Sea, Color Theory for Big People, Face Fuck Smash Core, Great and honorable change shape wet, Human Interest Story, Humane Blowhole, illegitimate Dream Children, Mountain Vista, Nature's Midwife, New Born Induced Orgasms, Original Hymen Destruction, Pelvic Issues, poop log, Rawhide Dawn, REAL ISSUES, Sandwich Mountain Retreat, Sasquatch Surrogate, Symptoms, Velvet Gloved Frindship Approval with tags , , , , , on January 8, 2009 by machosteakjet

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A Very Special Holiday Episode of MACHO Steak Jet (MagiKS) Terra-Clown @ Barbie DreamouZZZZZZZ® 

Posted in 87 mile beard, A Big Letter to Your Mother, Absolute Concept, ANDY GRIFFITH DIMENSION, , Birth Footage (PARTIAL), Black time travel, Christmas Time!, Color Theory for Big People, Crystal City, Dream Cycle Magnetic Resonance Theory, El Circulo de la Fortuna, Flesh Suit, GOD, Gylfaginning Delight, Holiday Miracles, Human Interest Story, I just found out I only have 2 hands, illegitimate Dream Children, Infinity, Infinity + 1, Komparative History™, Kwan Yin, Lawn and Garden, Nature's Midwife, poop log, REAL ISSUES, Remembering, Same Channel, Symptoms, Universal Consciousness pt 2, Velvet Gloved Frindship Approval, Vestigial Wig, Why Essents? on December 24, 2008 by machosteakjet

Let the Englishmen have their Father Christmas. Save Schmutzli for the Germans. It is my pleasure, honor and — as an forester/gastroenterologist/wizard — my professional obligation to introduce you gentlemen and gentlewomen at MACHO Steak Jet (MagiKS) Terra-Clown @ Barbie DreamouZZZZZZZ® to the heroic Catalan tradition of the Caga Tio (trans: Poop Log).

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Caga Tio is a log that Catalan families keep in their houses during the yuletide. A word of explanation from the infallible Wikipedia™:

Beginning with the Feast of the Immaculate Conception (December 8), one gives the tió a little bit to “eat” every night and usually covers him with a little blanket so that he will not be cold at night.

On Christmas day or, depending on the particular household, on Christmas Eve, one puts the tió partly into the fireplace and orders it to “poop” (the fire part of this tradition is no longer as widespread as it once was, since many modern homes do not have a fireplace). To make him “poop”, one beats him with sticks, while singing various songs of Tió de Nadal.

That’s right. You force-feed him for three weeks and then, literally, beat the shit out of him, taunting him with this song:

poop log,
poop turrón,
hazelnuts and cottage cheese,
if you don’t poop well,
I’ll hit you with a stick,
poop log!

after which the poop log placidly defecates nuts, dried fruit and presents out his wooden anus (in this way, not unlike Just1n).

tio2

When nothing is left to “poop”, it drops a salt herring, a head of garlic, an onion or “urinates”. What comes out of the tió is a communal rather than individual gift, shared by everyone present.

Personally, I applaud the Catalans. For a long time, I’ve maintained the family that makes the poop log together will stay together. Someday, I hope to make the poop log with my kids, make one big poop log for the whole family. And I’m already excited to show-off our poop log to our friends and neighbors.

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By the way, this is not the weirdest European Christmas tradition. Just wait until next year when we blow the lid of Zwarte Piet.

MERRY CHRISTMAS! HO HO HO!!!
MERRY CHRISTMAS! HO HO HO!!!
MERRY CHRISTMAS! HO HO HO!!!

Questions About Our Economy: Answered

Posted in Atheist Silverback, , BARNEY FIFE PORTAL, Bánh khúc cây Giáng sinh, Birth Footage (PARTIAL), Canary of the Sea, Crystal City, Economic Gibbon Flip, El Circulo de la Fortuna, Flesh Suit, GOD, Gylfaginning Delight, Haegar und Hygiene, Hand Held Microphone, Hoary Rackuun, I just found out I only have 2 hands, illegitimate Dream Children, Indonesian composting, Kwan Yin, Lawn and Garden, Mountain Vista, New Born Induced Orgasms, Oiled Leather Overalls, REAL ISSUES, Science Now!, Sherlock Tube, SURD, Symptoms, Tennessee Meat Goat, The Entente of Ted Kennedy's Feelings™, Universal Consciousness, Universal Consciousness pt 2, Vestigial Wig, Why Essents?, Wormhole Atlas, Yanni Bake, 帝國主義 on December 22, 2008 by machosteakjet

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Is it just me or does everyone keep complaining about how bad the economy is? I really don’t get it; I always find that I have enough money. I eat at Red Lobster almost every night and usually have the breaded shrimp dinner with an extra hushpuppie. On Fridays I splurge and go for the scampi. See? I also own many of the most popular CDs and DVDs. Doesn’t sound like there’s much of a problem here. In fact just yesterday I went to Gifford’s Pawn and purchased fourteen broken fax machines. I attached them to the bumper of my ’96 Honda Accord with those super thin bungee cords and drove almost two miles before all of my tires blew out. You know what I did then? I laughed and said a prayer. Sang it actually. I sometimes also buy gold doubloons and carry them around in my breast pocket because I like the way they feel. Before I fall asleep, I say prayers and the prayers keep going around and around in my mind until I fall asleep. Last night I was visited by a large coyote covered in golden chain mail. Instead of eyes he had smooth pearlescent discs that looked like they were made of fingernails. His tail looked like a small evergreen tree. He wandered around my room silently and then stole some of my favorite DVDs. I pretended to be asleep the whole time. If he comes back I’m going to try and get my DVDs back but if not that’s ok too since I’m really not that worried about money.