Road to nomination


I’ve been doing a little research and thought this was interesting.  These are the likely paths that each of the Democratic candidates could take to get nominated:

 

Obama — Picks up a handful of remaining delegates in the following contests and then makes a case for any outstanding super delegates based on winning both the most states and the most delegates in the actual voting, added to his air of inevitability.  

 

Clinton — Meteor hits the west coast of US, immediately destroying California, Oregon and Washington and causing an opaque cloud of dust and debris to encircle the earth, which starves the world’s food supplies.  Simultaneously, a “gay-making” plague breaks out across the world turning everyone into non-breeding, sissies.  Seeing their opportunity, Canada finally annexes Illinois, MIchigan, Wisconsin and Ohio (which they’ve totally been eyeing) while Texas declares independence. During this time Clinton, who receives access to Clinton Brand Clinton Bunkerz™, is able to consolidate influence among the remaining super delegates.  In July, when Clinton emerges from her Bunkerz™ bunker (in a fully automated and airtight robo-bubble), she declares a coup over the remainder of the Bush administration, while Obama is busy with Al Gore distributing aid to the needy (and making out with each other; they were, in this scenario, infected).  Since major remaining urban populations are in Pennsylvania and New York, and Clinton plays well among “the gays”, she handily receives a late-breaking nomination.  

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3 Responses to “Road to nomination”

  1. Thor Thorson Says:

    I’m into the screaming part. Seriously, try any joke out. If it flops, retell it but shouting.

  2. nipsofcheese Says:

    You may have read this news article: “Bush says he gave up golf out of respect for war dead”

    http://www.startribune.com/world/18912134.html

    I have also decided that I too should make a sacrfice for my country in this time of war. During foreplay, I will not accept fellatio from my girlfriend. She will be limited to fondling my balls or anus, during wartime. It is the least I can do for the brave men and, particularly, women who are fighting for this country.

  3. mrhamham Says:

    Those are words of a true patriot. You are the “Anal” Thomas Paine. Or Anal Paine, for short. Har Har Har. Oh. I’m so funny. er.

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