AMAZING!

Macho Steak Jet and the Environment

Macho Steak Jet is committed to environmental leadership in all of its activities, from its technical operations to its award winning FIRST TIME DOCS. MSJ’s corporate policy on environmental affairs is supported by its global environmental sustainability management system business network governance strategy coalition, which is the key to science. The results have been significant:

• Redefine global warming as: Earth Is Totally Hot™!
• 30% increase in griffins over the last 2,500 years
• Get out of your car and into a horse corpse
• Psychomental phase/space “greening” thought broadcast (Universe)
• Reusable hands
• Environmentally Correct Underground Hovercraft
• Prudence
• Trendy euthanasia for the preteen set
• Removable deserts
• Polar Bears v. Tigers
• “Clean Coal”, “Clean Dirt”, “Clean Diarrhea”, “Clean Uncleanliness”, “Space”, “Time”, “True Love”, “Hatchbacks”
• Instant water
• Science
• Terra-forming India
• “Green” Beards (Projected 2014)

Stewardship

Here’s to a green future, Macho Steak Jet!

NELSON MANDELA V. BOB BARKER

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I don’t just eat apes, I eat silverback.

Happy Holidays from my family…

in 1987!

A Very Special Holiday Episode of MACHO Steak Jet (MagiKS) Terra-Clown @ Barbie DreamouZZZZZZZ®

Let the Englishmen have their Father Christmas. Save Schmutzli for the Germans. It is my pleasure, honor and — as an forester/gastroenterologist/wizard — my professional obligation to introduce you gentlemen and gentlewomen at MACHO Steak Jet (MagiKS) Terra-Clown @ Barbie DreamouZZZZZZZ® to the heroic Catalan tradition of the Caga Tio (trans: Poop Log).

Caga Tio is a log that Catalan families keep in their houses during the yuletide. A word of explanation from the infallible Wikipedia™:

Beginning with the Feast of the Immaculate Conception (December 8), one gives the tió a little bit to “eat” every night and usually covers him with a little blanket so that he will not be cold at night.

On Christmas day or, depending on the particular household, on Christmas Eve, one puts the tió partly into the fireplace and orders it to “poop” (the fire part of this tradition is no longer as widespread as it once was, since many modern homes do not have a fireplace). To make him “poop”, one beats him with sticks, while singing various songs of Tió de Nadal.

That’s right. You force-feed him for three weeks and then, literally, beat the shit out of him, taunting him with this song:

poop log,
poop turrón,
hazelnuts and cottage cheese,
if you don’t poop well,
I’ll hit you with a stick,
poop log!

after which the poop log placidly defecates nuts, dried fruit and presents out his wooden anus (in this way, not unlike Just1n).

When nothing is left to “poop”, it drops a salt herring, a head of garlic, an onion or “urinates”. What comes out of the tió is a communal rather than individual gift, shared by everyone present.

Personally, I applaud the Catalans. For a long time, I’ve maintained the family that makes the poop log together will stay together. Someday, I hope to make the poop log with my kids, make one big poop log for the whole family. And I’m already excited to show-off our poop log to our friends and neighbors.

By the way, this is not the weirdest European Christmas tradition. Just wait until next year when we blow the lid of Zwarte Piet.

MERRY CHRISTMAS! HO HO HO!!!
MERRY CHRISTMAS! HO HO HO!!!
MERRY CHRISTMAS! HO HO HO!!!

MachoSteakJet Science Now! Philanthropy Case #78.3JG

‘Yes’, my Tranhumanist friend told me, ‘It does look like a pie plate connected to metal squids. But it is so much more. You see, Magnetoencephalography will measure your brain waves to tell us how you drove your mother mad with visions.’

As the tests wore on, they took the days with them. And my power grew. And so did my disgust. Although my friend allowed me to brush his horse, ‘Clever’, I could see his mind, and knew his insatiable appetite for enormous women would tear us apart.

He always fucked my new giant girlfriends. And that is exactly why I made his god damn head explode.

But now that I call Dubai my new home, I am free to pursue the life I have always wished for.

Thanks to you MachoSteakJet for sponsoring me!

Medieval Science Now! Presents: The Medieval Scholars St. Thomas Aquinas and The ladies of the View

The philosophy of Aquinas has exerted enormous influence on subsequent Christian theology, especially that of the Roman Catholic Church, extending to Western philosophy in general, where he stands as a vehicle and modifier of Aristotelianism, which he fused with the thought of Augustine.

Aquinas believed “that for the knowledge of any truth whatsoever man needs Divine help, that the intellect may be moved by God to its act.” However, he believed that human beings have the natural capacity to know many things without special divine revelation, even though such revelation occurs from time to time, “especially in regard to [topics of] faith.”^[12] Aquinas was also an Aristotelian and an empiricist. He substantially influenced these two streams of Western thought.

Aquinas believed that truth is known through reason (natural revelation) and faith (supernatural revelation). Supernatural revelation is revealed through the prophets, Holy Scripture, and the Magisterium, the sum of which is called “Tradition”. Natural revelation is the truth available to all people through their human nature; certain truths all men can attain from correct human reasoning. For example, he felt this applied to rational proofs for the existence of God.

Though one may deduce the existence of God and His Attributes (One, Truth, Good, Power, Knowledge) through reason, certain specifics may be known only through special revelation (Like the Trinity). In Aquinas’s view, special revelation is equivalent to the revelation of God in Jesus Christ. The major theological components of Christianity, such as the Trinity and the Incarnation, are revealed in the teachings of the Catholic Church and the Scriptures and may not otherwise be deduced.

Supernatural revelation (faith) and natural revelation (reason) are complementary rather than contradictory in nature, for they pertain to the same unity: truth.

Here to expound further are the ladies of The View:

Displeasure in Valhalla

Photograph From The Future

Look. It’s Dave without a beard.

He Ain’t Here to Impress No One

“‘I’m John McCain, and I approved this message.”

This Week In Science: Christ the Magician and Virgin Births!

A team of scientists led by renowned French marine archaeologist Franck Goddio recently announced that they have found a bowl, dating to between the late 2nd century B.C. and the early 1st century A.D., that is engraved with what they believe could be the world’s first known reference to Christ.

If the word “Christ” refers to the Biblical Jesus Christ, as is speculated, then the discovery may provide evidence that Christianity and paganism at times intertwined in the ancient world.

The full engraving on the bowl reads, “DIA CHRSTOU O GOISTAIS,” which has been interpreted by the excavation team to mean either, “by Christ the magician” or, “the magician by Christ.”

In a study reported Friday in the Journal of Fish Biology, scientists said DNA testing proved that a pup carried by a female blacktip shark in a Virginia aquarium contained no genetic material from a male.

The medical mystery began 16 months ago after the death of Tidbit, a blacktip shark that had lived for eight years at the Virginia Aquarium & Marine Science Center in Virginia Beach. No male blacktip sharks were present during her eight years.

In May 2007, the 5-foot, 94-pound shark died after it was given a sedative before undergoing a yearly checkup. The 10-inch shark pup was found during a necropsy, surprising aquarium officials. They initially thought the embryonic pup was either the product of a virgin birth or a cross between the blacktip and a male of another shark species — which has never been documented, Chapman said.

Tidbit’s pup was nearly full term, and likely would have been quickly eaten by “really big sand tiger sharks” that were in the tank, Chapman said in a telephone interview from Florida.

John McCain Announces his Plans for Our Economy In Chilling Detail!

“‘I’m John McCain, and I approved this message.”

I can give this no better introduction.

Fox Tossing.

Message coming in from the HinterLAND…

Bombay Talkie

I’m going to work on my own time travel story. Right now. With this giant typewriter.

NEVER! We must go BLACK TO THE FUTURE!

Allow me to innumerate the reasons: 1, 2, 3, and 4.