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한국어 당신의 어머니는 나의 개를 먹고 있다

Machosteakjet

Medical Science Reports: Study Results Doc: MSJ Clinical Trial Results: Microbial Agent Shows Promise in Symptomatic Voriconazole and Aspergillosis in the Runic Curse

Study Type: Interventional Study Design: Treatment, Randomized, Open Label, Uncontrolled, Random Group Assignment/Euthanasia Study Official Title: Open Label Study of Isavuconazole in the Termination of Patients With Aspergillosis and Renal Impairment With Non-Invasive, Æsiric Curses.

Introduction:
The Science Now! editors, in the interest of maintaining a positive relationship with our shareholders, would like to give a full accounting of the recent MSJ Clinical Trial Results from our ongoing research into Æsiric and Alaisiagaeic curses.

Purpose:
This study examined the effectiveness of the drug doxycycline in reducing the number of Þrúðheimr perstans (Þp), worms in the blood of runically cursed patients and thereby initiating spontaneous Aldric draining by natural means.

Þp is a very small filarial worm that is spread chiefly by Nordendorf Druids. Þp can cause swellings in the arms, legs, breast, face, hands, feet, lower back, upper back, eyes, ears and scrotum, and can progress to permanent swelling of the legs or arms called elephantitis. Þp can cause itching, swelling, fever, headache, pilonoidal leaking, sinus infections, or other symptoms. Ivermectin and albendazole are medicines used to treat congenital damnation. They eliminate the Þp parasite from the blood but do not correct persistent moral corruption (as defined as an unwillingness to wield Sigurdhr Fåvnesbane in the MSJASAM Standards Doc 2b, sub. 4.0005.0a). The drug may be useful in the Þp (Àlf-blót) infections (cause of Skaldic swelling) as well.

Residents of Nordendorf and nearby villages in Saxony who are infected with the Þp parasite, were between 14 and 65 years of age, were in deteriorating health, had a marked and swollen rune pouch, were not pregnant or breastfeeding, and weighed at least 40 kg (88 lb) were eligible for this study. They may or may not also have been infected with wyrd. Candidates were screened with a brief medical history, proximal habitation to a barrow-mound, and blood tests to look for infection with Þp. Daughters of Aegir were excluded for legal reasons.

Subject Selection:
The team developed a positive relationship with our subjects.

Our subjects were chosen carefully based on the MSJASAM Standards Doc. #2a, section 1a: “Guidelines for Subject Selection and Liquidation”. As per the guidelines foremost in our consideration were nearness to death and symptomatic manifestation of inner Skaldic corruption. Lab assistants were assigned standardized diagnostic tools and guidelines:

Figure 1a: Symptom Guidline

Figure 1b: Pictorial Diagnostic Aid

Results:
In this post-treatment image, we can clearly see that despite planned euthanasia, we clearly made progress in establishing the relationship between astrological perturbations and manifestation of the symptomatic curse:

One of the truly surprising and gratifying results of the trial is pictured here. This patient showed an (almost) complete absence of Æsiric corruption:

While this subject showed promising signs of progress, there were some unfortunate side-effects:

Pre-treatment:

Post-treatment:

However, the most astonishing result came in the fourteenth year of the study. A picture is worth a thousand words:

Pre-treatment:

Post-treatment:

The effect of our microbial agents on these subjects was quite conclusive and was the key result that led to MSJFDA Approval.

Conclusion:
Machosteakjet continues its groundbreaking work for The Medical Sciences. The MSJ Science Team thanks you for your continued financial support.

Macho Steak Jet and the Environment

Macho Steak Jet is committed to environmental leadership in all of its activities, from its technical operations to its award winning FIRST TIME DOCS. MSJ’s corporate policy on environmental affairs is supported by its global environmental sustainability management system business network governance strategy coalition, which is the key to science. The results have been significant:

• Redefine global warming as: Earth Is Totally Hot™!
• 30% increase in griffins over the last 2,500 years
• Get out of your car and into a horse corpse
• Psychomental phase/space “greening” thought broadcast (Universe)
• Reusable hands
• Environmentally Correct Underground Hovercraft
• Prudence
• Trendy euthanasia for the preteen set
• Removable deserts
• Polar Bears v. Tigers
• “Clean Coal”, “Clean Dirt”, “Clean Diarrhea”, “Clean Uncleanliness”, “Space”, “Time”, “True Love”, “Hatchbacks”
• Instant water
• Science
• Terra-forming India
• “Green” Beards (Projected 2014)

Stewardship

Here’s to a green future, Macho Steak Jet!

NELSON MANDELA V. BOB BARKER

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The annals: receiving a very heavy drilling (MSJ HISTORY DOC SERIES PART.xii)

During the long, hot summer of 1879, there gathered at “El Agujero Dos” a collection of hobos, transients, vagrants, wastrels, tramps, gadabouts, bindle stiffs, beggars, mumpers, supplicants, bagmen, bums, cadgers, touters, straphangers, swagmen, beachcombers, boolies, stragglers, scatterlings, and a 1/2 Jew, who would become “Jet Machista Del Filete.” There are too many to cover here, but a couple shining stars

From left to right: J3r3mY (in the hat, gambling), C4®L (in the hat, sipping), ADD’AM (in the hat, exhaling mightily), Just-in (in the hat, thinking of a perfect future, one with Mario Cart and female condoms), Hoonan (in the hat and scarf, fantasizing about Just-in).

Walpurgis Night

PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT FOR THE CHILDREN

SPECIAL MSJ BEGINNING OF THE YEAR REPORT: OMINOUS FORESHADOWINGS FOR 2009 pts 04-05

सुंदर पुनर्जन्म.

A Very Special Holiday Episode of MACHO Steak Jet (MagiKS) Terra-Clown @ Barbie DreamouZZZZZZZ®

Let the Englishmen have their Father Christmas. Save Schmutzli for the Germans. It is my pleasure, honor and — as an forester/gastroenterologist/wizard — my professional obligation to introduce you gentlemen and gentlewomen at MACHO Steak Jet (MagiKS) Terra-Clown @ Barbie DreamouZZZZZZZ® to the heroic Catalan tradition of the Caga Tio (trans: Poop Log).

Caga Tio is a log that Catalan families keep in their houses during the yuletide. A word of explanation from the infallible Wikipedia™:

Beginning with the Feast of the Immaculate Conception (December 8), one gives the tió a little bit to “eat” every night and usually covers him with a little blanket so that he will not be cold at night.

On Christmas day or, depending on the particular household, on Christmas Eve, one puts the tió partly into the fireplace and orders it to “poop” (the fire part of this tradition is no longer as widespread as it once was, since many modern homes do not have a fireplace). To make him “poop”, one beats him with sticks, while singing various songs of Tió de Nadal.

That’s right. You force-feed him for three weeks and then, literally, beat the shit out of him, taunting him with this song:

poop log,
poop turrón,
hazelnuts and cottage cheese,
if you don’t poop well,
I’ll hit you with a stick,
poop log!

after which the poop log placidly defecates nuts, dried fruit and presents out his wooden anus (in this way, not unlike Just1n).

When nothing is left to “poop”, it drops a salt herring, a head of garlic, an onion or “urinates”. What comes out of the tió is a communal rather than individual gift, shared by everyone present.

Personally, I applaud the Catalans. For a long time, I’ve maintained the family that makes the poop log together will stay together. Someday, I hope to make the poop log with my kids, make one big poop log for the whole family. And I’m already excited to show-off our poop log to our friends and neighbors.

By the way, this is not the weirdest European Christmas tradition. Just wait until next year when we blow the lid of Zwarte Piet.

MERRY CHRISTMAS! HO HO HO!!!
MERRY CHRISTMAS! HO HO HO!!!
MERRY CHRISTMAS! HO HO HO!!!

Questions About Our Economy: Answered

Is it just me or does everyone keep complaining about how bad the economy is? I really don’t get it; I always find that I have enough money. I eat at Red Lobster almost every night and usually have the breaded shrimp dinner with an extra hushpuppie. On Fridays I splurge and go for the scampi. See? I also own many of the most popular CDs and DVDs. Doesn’t sound like there’s much of a problem here. In fact just yesterday I went to Gifford’s Pawn and purchased fourteen broken fax machines. I attached them to the bumper of my ’96 Honda Accord with those super thin bungee cords and drove almost two miles before all of my tires blew out. You know what I did then? I laughed and said a prayer. Sang it actually. I sometimes also buy gold doubloons and carry them around in my breast pocket because I like the way they feel. Before I fall asleep, I say prayers and the prayers keep going around and around in my mind until I fall asleep. Last night I was visited by a large coyote covered in golden chain mail. Instead of eyes he had smooth pearlescent discs that looked like they were made of fingernails. His tail looked like a small evergreen tree. He wandered around my room silently and then stole some of my favorite DVDs. I pretended to be asleep the whole time. If he comes back I’m going to try and get my DVDs back but if not that’s ok too since I’m really not that worried about money.

First Time Doc µ^‰^^∏_-_¬0∫0∞02.02≈Latitudinal[r≤≥r]=∫Ωxπ∂;{∞∞∞}

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MachoSteakJet Science Now! Philanthropy Case #78.3JG

‘Yes’, my Tranhumanist friend told me, ‘It does look like a pie plate connected to metal squids. But it is so much more. You see, Magnetoencephalography will measure your brain waves to tell us how you drove your mother mad with visions.’

As the tests wore on, they took the days with them. And my power grew. And so did my disgust. Although my friend allowed me to brush his horse, ‘Clever’, I could see his mind, and knew his insatiable appetite for enormous women would tear us apart.

He always fucked my new giant girlfriends. And that is exactly why I made his god damn head explode.

But now that I call Dubai my new home, I am free to pursue the life I have always wished for.

Thanks to you MachoSteakJet for sponsoring me!

Get To Know Our Contributors: JSommerian Early Childhood Footage Part 5: A Perfect Talent?

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