AMAZING!

한국어 당신의 어머니는 나의 개를 먹고 있다

Machosteakjet

NELSON MANDELA V. BOB BARKER

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The annals: receiving a very heavy drilling (MSJ HISTORY DOC SERIES PART.xii)

During the long, hot summer of 1879, there gathered at “El Agujero Dos” a collection of hobos, transients, vagrants, wastrels, tramps, gadabouts, bindle stiffs, beggars, mumpers, supplicants, bagmen, bums, cadgers, touters, straphangers, swagmen, beachcombers, boolies, stragglers, scatterlings, and a 1/2 Jew, who would become “Jet Machista Del Filete.” There are too many to cover here, but a couple shining stars

From left to right: J3r3mY (in the hat, gambling), C4®L (in the hat, sipping), ADD’AM (in the hat, exhaling mightily), Just-in (in the hat, thinking of a perfect future, one with Mario Cart and female condoms), Hoonan (in the hat and scarf, fantasizing about Just-in).

Machosteakjet: The Valentine of Barred Spiral Galaxies

BEFORE MACHOSTEAKJET (B.M.S.J.)

AFTER MACHOSTEAKJET (A.M.S.J.)

Another Satisfied Customer!

Try to forget just for a moment how many deaths needlessly occurred that day, and try to picture instead all of those beautiful children sitting on Jesus’ lap, glowing and looking down on us and blowing us angel kisses from on high. Just think of tiny, frail Jimmy Yitter who was so good with the animals but had to use those horrible, horrible crutches. Now he is the ringmaster, entertaining all of the other angels with his heavenly three ring circus! Or Sue, the Taiwanese girl adopted by the Pattersons who had all those learning disabilities. Guess what she’s up to? Why she’s probably solving the hardest equations and math problems that the angel Gabriel can throw her way. And what about Tony Higgerton? Now that was a young boy that had talent! I can just see him running and flipping all over the place up there. Why I’ll bet he’s probably applying one of those half-nelsons to good ol’ Ebekenezer himself. And don’t forget about Shawnee Wilkins. Even though she was developing an unhealthy interest in boys way too early if you ask me, I’m sure she is in Heaven right now asking to be forgiven for all of her transgressions. And the good Lord is smiling down on her tiny face and judging her with all of his infinite wisdom. Because you see, the Lord always does the right thing. I think it helps to remember: these sweet children were not really ours at all. You see, the way I look at it we’re just baby sitting for God.

SPECIAL MSJ BEGINNING OF THE YEAR REPORT: OMINOUS FORESHADOWINGS FOR 2009 pts 04-05

SPECIAL MSJ BEGINNING OF THE YEAR REPORT: OMINOUS FORESHADOWINGS FOR 2009 pt 02

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A Special Holiday First Time Doc!

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Questions About Our Economy: Answered

Is it just me or does everyone keep complaining about how bad the economy is? I really don’t get it; I always find that I have enough money. I eat at Red Lobster almost every night and usually have the breaded shrimp dinner with an extra hushpuppie. On Fridays I splurge and go for the scampi. See? I also own many of the most popular CDs and DVDs. Doesn’t sound like there’s much of a problem here. In fact just yesterday I went to Gifford’s Pawn and purchased fourteen broken fax machines. I attached them to the bumper of my ’96 Honda Accord with those super thin bungee cords and drove almost two miles before all of my tires blew out. You know what I did then? I laughed and said a prayer. Sang it actually. I sometimes also buy gold doubloons and carry them around in my breast pocket because I like the way they feel. Before I fall asleep, I say prayers and the prayers keep going around and around in my mind until I fall asleep. Last night I was visited by a large coyote covered in golden chain mail. Instead of eyes he had smooth pearlescent discs that looked like they were made of fingernails. His tail looked like a small evergreen tree. He wandered around my room silently and then stole some of my favorite DVDs. I pretended to be asleep the whole time. If he comes back I’m going to try and get my DVDs back but if not that’s ok too since I’m really not that worried about money.

A HOLIDAY MIRACLE: Friends, it is my pleasure to share this heartfelt letter I received from an inmate in a remote Siberian prison where he's serving multiple life sentences for unknown crimes. I thought it really captured the transformative power of MST and provides yet further proof that we are truly reaching beyond borders

Hello, my name is Dimochka Dazdraperma. Though I am a wrongfully accused prisoner with not hope for release and will be mercilessly tortured for writing this, I wanted to share with you how much Macho Steak Jets has helped me through the darkest days and nights. Now you are probably wondering: how is it that this wrongfully accused prisoner has access to Macho Steak Jets? Is his prison similar to ones in America where the prisoners are treated like royalty with unlimited access to women, guns, money, and the internets? Ahh, no, I am afraid that is not the case my comrades. My prison is conceived by devils who appear to have but one goal: to make sure I remain alive and conscious while they torture me mercilessly for hours. But I digress. I am aware of the wonderful Macho Steak Jets through what you might call a miracle. Please make no mistake, I do not believe in a God. Fourteen solid years of unimaginable tortures at the hands of fiendish devils tends to promote secular thinking, just fyi. If I did believe in a God it would be a God of the ancient Gnostics: an evil, spoiled, child-idiot god, one not worthy to make piss on much less praise. I know of Macho Steak Jets because I can see it through a slit in the iron door to my cell. As incredible as it sounds, my sinister devil captors visit Macho Steak Jets daily on a small outdated computer studying it for hours between torture sessions. In fact, these devils only look at two kinds of internets sights: one devoted to the latest techniques in torture and Macho Steak Jets. My captors don’t understand English since they are stupid stupid devils so I can only imagine what they get out of looking at Macho Steak Jets. But that question is moot since the benefits of Macho Steak Jets to me are two-fold: the posts that I can make out with my un-flayed left eye are thought-provoking, insightful, and at times, quite humorous. I assure you, laughter is a rare thing when you are being tortured 15-17 hours per day so I especially appreciate the comedy parts. The second benefit is of a more practical nature in that Macho Steak Jets occupies my devil captors so that it leaves them less time to torture me or at the very least causes them to torture me at night which is incrementally less agonizing since they are tired.
So to all this I say Thank You Macho Steak Jets comrades! You are giving a nameless, hopeless, wrongfully accused prisoner a small flicker of hope that even the most gruesome torture is hard pressed to extinguish. Just to give you a hint of my gratitude, I fashioned a small brand from a piece of wire that the devils carelessly left under the small finger of my left hand after a particularly long day of torture. The brand is a small MSJ that I seared into the crux of my right forearm, a sign of the utmost respect in my culture. Unfortunately, my bastard devil captors discovered the tiny tattoo and diabolically answered it by fashioning a brand of the name of Macho Steak Jets in its entirety. There are many Z’s. The subsequent branding completely incinerated my left buttocks.
Nevertheless, I stand in defiance to my devil captors and wear your name proudly across the back side of my entire body. And I do not use the word “love” lightly my dear comrades! In my most feverish dreams I find myself sitting at a long table breaking bread with you all and probing the deepest mysteries of the Cosmos. Make no mistake, I love you, and consider you to be the finest minds of these strange and wonderful times. Ah, I hear the devils approaching now so I must sign off I am afraid. What will it be this evening? The genital saw? Or perhaps the tibia crusher? They sound drunk so it will surely be sloppy. I face it unafraid knowing that the spirit of unfettered human intelligence is alive and well, nestled amongst the gentle folds of a community devoted to innovation and purity.
As my mother always said: Изиђи и задржи А, а затим задржи иде! -DD

MachoSteakJet Science Now! Philanthropy Case #78.3JG

‘Yes’, my Tranhumanist friend told me, ‘It does look like a pie plate connected to metal squids. But it is so much more. You see, Magnetoencephalography will measure your brain waves to tell us how you drove your mother mad with visions.’

As the tests wore on, they took the days with them. And my power grew. And so did my disgust. Although my friend allowed me to brush his horse, ‘Clever’, I could see his mind, and knew his insatiable appetite for enormous women would tear us apart.

He always fucked my new giant girlfriends. And that is exactly why I made his god damn head explode.

But now that I call Dubai my new home, I am free to pursue the life I have always wished for.

Thanks to you MachoSteakJet for sponsoring me!

Assault on Asgaard

Get To Know Our Contributors: JSommerian Early Childhood Footage Part 5: A Perfect Talent?

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Man Arrested 71 times!!!

Smith — who calls himself “Otis the town drunk” — said in an earlier interview that he has been arrested for public intoxication so many times that people he sees at taverns occasionally approach him and ask for his autograph. He has spent about half his adult life behind bars.

The 3rd President has been away for a while, but felt this was a topic that demanded Presidential attention on machosteakjet, and it feels good to be back.

As a testament to this mans dedication, keep in mind that his 70th arrest came just 5 months ago in July!

Check out the full article using the intertubes here.

Reckless, Nostalgic, Precambrian: !!EeEhl3*e*r^:((g))!!: a mysterious and beautiful life in 3 parts…

Friend Group Winter 2008

First Time Doc -01010101010101^^01010101010-

First Time Doc #’s 1098987039-1098988044

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First Time Doc 6655-8qGF77 sub n^

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